I had the most interesting experience yesterday, while I was in the shower. I was suddenly transported to a world where there was no past. Literally. There was no past. It was very clear to me that what I have always thought of as the past was just a story that my mind had made up.
Then I began going through my day with the ability to see each moment differently, objectively, unemotionally. I got on the scale and thought, perhaps I should eat less. No recriminations and blame, because there was no past in which I had promised myself to lose weight. No shame, because there was no past full of advertisements with skinny models.
I sat at my computer and realized I could choose whether to do the work in front of me. The option not to work was right there, since there was no past in which I had made promises to anyone, no past in which good girls got A’s. I could choose to earn money and help out some people, but I could also choose to go swimming instead.
As I moved forward, I could feel each moment I had just experienced dissolving behind me. The “actual” past dissolved and all that was left was whatever story my mind decided to spin out about what had just happened. And it was truly just that, a story. The only absolute reality was this moment.
And this moment was full of promise and possibility. It was wide open. There was no past in which people had given me advice one way or the other. No past in which I had decided I couldn’t do something or wasn’t good enough to succeed. No past in which something seemed unlikely, much less impossible. All opportunities sparkled out in front of me with equal possibility. Everything was wide open.
I closed my eyes, stepped out into the open space and looked around. After a time I became aware that I was not alone. My Team was gathering around me. They were in a circle around me, and as I watched, the number kept increasing, until they seemed to be stretching out forever. And they were looking at me, waiting for my vision. “In this moment of all possibility, with no limitations or restrictions,” they seemed to say, “Give us a vision.”
And I did.
Not long ago, I ran into an old high school girlfriend. It was interesting that there were things I recalled us doing, things that were pivotal and important to me, that she didn’t remember at all. There were other things we recalled quite differently. So perhaps my experience in the shower was not another world at all, but just a true glimpse of this one that we inhabit every day.
Perhaps this moment is always a wide open space, where we stand surrounded by countless helpers waiting for our vision. Well, I think I’ll go with that, even if my mind may have just made it up.