Feeling very peaceful and rested at last after many high-vibe-buzzing days with less sleep and the body-temple hunkered down to integrate all the energy that has been flowing onto our beautiful planet.
I succeeded in getting rid of LOTS of stuff over the past week. Another layer of life-simplification in honor of our upcoming entry into the lunar new year. It is amazing how emotional and draining it was to let go of things. I noticed I could go through things effortlessly for a while, but then I would reach a limit--I needed a break. If I pushed through and continued "throwing stuff into the good-will bag" I got irritated and sad about even things I haven't used. ? What's up with that life? I sincerely crave deeper simplicity and I would like a little cooperation!
Then I realized that somehow there was a feeling of decisiveness about my life contained in all of these small actions; each an act of consolidation. Many steps toward converging in the now and not keeping tendrils of energy anywhere else--like embedded in things with memories that reflect prior pathways. As if somehow letting go of these things, was a gradual act of putting all of my energy in this version of self and acknowledging more consciously the life I have chosen and created.
Of course the up-side of all of this is a much clearer, cleaner house, and more energy. Empowerment even, for consciously drawing all of our energy into the present moment gives us great power.
So I persevered throughout the week, gradually accumulating bag and box after bag and box, until the hallway was full of them and I began to forget what was even in them and the feeling of lightness begin to come over me.
Last night going to bed I surveyed my newly sparse landscape and was surprised. I realized that somehow all those things felt a little like insulation. I had this feeling that I might get cold, literally! That I might somehow be less interesting and life might be less fun without all these expressions of the many versions of Meredith's-life that these clothes and books and shoes and old papers and electronic devices represented. "Well," I thought to myself putting another blanket on the bed and crawling in with my socks on..."we'll see."
It couldn't be more confirming that when I did this I woke up this morning I felt deeply rested and peaceful. Lying in bed reflecting on my dreams for some reason I thought, "I wonder how much more I could let go of..." and I exhaled and let my body go soft. I was surprised that even upon awakening there was the potential to relax more! So I did this several times, until I could seemingly relax no more. Amazing that even emerging from sleep there were layers of energy in some kind of holding pattern. Relaxed now I felt immersed in the living stream of consciousness. I felt waves of Shakti energy rise up my spine. Smiling I turned to pet my purring cat lying next to me, and just let it flow.
A bit later sitting down with my gorgeous juicy pear, some Ezekiel toast with raw almond butter and a cup of coffee, I savored all of this.
The Universe, reflective as it is, deepened things. Writing this post, I googled "photos of a red d'Anjou pear" because none of the ones I took did justice to this glorious piece of fruit I had just eaten. Out of all the photos that came up I immediately resonated to this one--loving both the composition/lighting and the fact that it looks pretty much exactly like the pear I had.
Laugh of all laughs--the copyrighted photo (thus my lame homage above) is by my ex-husband, Christopher Casilli.
As a reminder that we own nothing, that we simply let experiences flow through us, that nothing ever ends, and nothing is ever really separate, I got a big wink from the Universe. I couldn't believe it.
We've not spoken in years, divorcing in 1999 and yet here he is again and here I am resonating to him--feeling drawn to that image immediately and above all others. Out of the blue! I didn't even know he was taking photos. Reminding me that "things" and form, have nothing to do with connection. All paths and energy being infinitely open and available, drawn forth by focus.
Everything I experience or have experienced, arises from the ground of reality, the Infinite Oneness. There is no way to immerse myself in this or separate myself from it. These are illusions of duality. I can buy into illusions that connections are created by physical presence, things, or memories, but in truth connection simply IS. And everyone and everything is a reflection of this One Self, the Infinite Beautiful Oneness, I AM/We Are. There is no immersion in the stream of consciousness, I AM the stream of consciousness.
Blessings and love to you Christopher--thank you for this humorous pulse of truth and what a gorgeous photo! Namaste to all versions of me reading this. I love you.
An experiential definition of Oneness is fully available. Freely given. Moment to moment. Happiness of being arises from this awareness. There are many doorways to this realization; life opens to us at ever moment. Even a piece of fruit can wake you up!
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