Stage Three: Letting go of the old youWe will now speak of stage three. But before we do, we wish to point out that the transition does not take place along a straight and linear pathway. There are moments in which you may fall back to a stage you had already left behind. But such a fallback may later on lead you to a big step forward. So detours may turn out to be shortcuts. Also, every soul's spiritual path is unique and individual. So this scheme we are providing you with, of four different stages, should be conceived of as simply a way of highlighting some of the turning points in the process. Schemes and categories are merely instruments that make visible a reality that cannot be captured by the mind, the mental part of you.
After you have accepted your inner wounds and you have healed the traumatized parts of your consciousness as we have described in the previous chapter, your energy shifts. You are letting go of an older you. You are making room for a totally different way of being and experiencing. In this chapter, we would like to explain what happens energetically when you release ego centered consciousness. What happens energetically when you move from ego domination to heart based consciousness is that the heart chakra takes precedence over the will or the third chakra.
Chakras are spinning wheels of energy located along your spine. These energy centers are all related to particular life-themes, for example "spirituality" (crown chakra), "communication" (throat chakra), or "the emotions" (navel chakra). The chakras are to some extent part of material reality, since they are related to specific places in your body. But they are not visible to the physical eye, so you might say they linger in between spirit and matter; they bridge the gap. They form the point of entrance for spirit (your soul consciousness), enabling it to take physical form and create the things that are happening in your life.
The heart chakra, located in the middle of your chest, is very much the seat of the energy of love and oneness. The heart carries energies that unify and harmonize. When you draw your attention to this center for a while, you may feel warmth or something opening up. If you do not feel anything, simply let go and perhaps try some other time.
The chakra below the heart is called "the solar plexus" and it is located near your stomach. It is the seat of the will. It is the center that focuses your energy into physical reality. Therefore it is the chakra that is connected to issues of creativity, vitality, ambition and personal power.
The ego and the will are closely related to each other. The faculty of the will enables you to focus on something, either without or within. Your perceptions of reality, of both yourself and others, are greatly influenced by what you want, by your desires. Your desires are often intermingled with fear. You often want something because you feel you are in need of it; there is a sense of lack or neediness beneath. Because of the fears that are present in many of your desires, the solar plexus is often driven by the energy of the ego. The ego especially expresses itself through the solar plexus.
Through the faculty of the will, the ego literally puts a pressure on reality. Reality has to be squeezed into what the ego wants you to believe. The ego works from a set of basic assumptions about how reality works, which are all fear-based. It presents you with a highly selective picture of reality, since its way of looking is prejudiced towards its own needs and fears. Also it has to place judgments on everything it notices. There is no room for simply taking note of things. Everything has to be divided in categories, to be labeled right or wrong.
When you live from the heart, there is no firm set of beliefs by which you interpret or value facts. You do not hold strong convictions on anything anymore. You have become more of an observer. You postpone moral judgments on any issue, since you feel you may not have understood all there is to understand about the situation. Judgments always have something definitive about them, but the heart is not interested in definitions. It always tries to go beyond what seems definite and defined. The heart is open, exploring, and ready to re-examine, ready to forgive.
When you use ego centered will power, you can sense something pulling on your solar plexus chakra. Using your will in this way is an energetic happening that you can be consciously aware of, if you want to. Whenever you feel this pull, accompanied by a strong desire to have things your way, you are trying to mold reality to your wishes. You are trying to force your beliefs upon reality.
When you act from the heart, you go along with the flow of things as it presents itself; you are not pushing or forcing.
If you work very hard to achieve something and you fail to reach your goals time after time, please ask yourself from what chakra, from what energetic center, you are doing it. Also you can tune into your heart and ask why this thing is not working or why you have to put so much energy into it.
Often you try to realize certain goals without having truly gone within and checked with your heart whether this is what really serves you on your inner path to wisdom and creativity. Also, even if your goals do represent your deepest heart-felt desires, you may have unrealistic expectations about the timeframe in which things will happen. You may be on a timeline that is not of the heart but of the personal will.
There is a natural rhythm to all things, and it does not necessarily have the pace that you think is desirable. The realization of your goals requires energy to be shifted. Energy shifts often take more time than you expect or wish for. In fact, energy shifts are nothing else but you changing.
When you will have reached your goals, you will not be you anymore. You will have become an expanded version of your current self, filled with more wisdom, more love and more inner power. The time it takes to fulfill your goals is the time it takes to change your consciousness in such a way that your desired reality may enter your actual reality. So if you want to speed up things, focus on you and not so much on reality.
Often you even need to let go of your goal, in order to be open to receive. This sounds paradoxical. But in fact we are saying only that you need to fully accept your current reality, before you can step forward into a new one. If you do not accept your current reality and you are holding onto your goals in a tense way, you are not moving forward.
Nothing will leave your reality, unless you love it. Loving it is equal to "setting it free."
Unless you truly embrace your current reality and accept it as your creation, it cannot leave you, for you are denying part of yourself. You are saying "no" to the part of you that has created this reality for you. You would like to cut this unwanted part from you and move forward.
But you cannot create a more loving reality from self-hate. You cannot "will yourself" into a new reality by pushing unwanted parts aside. Will power does not serve you here.
What you need is to get in touch with your heart. The energies of understanding and acceptance are the true building blocks of a new and more fulfilling reality.
When you interact with reality from the heart, you let reality be. You do not try to change it; you simply and carefully take note of what is.
When the heart becomes the steward of your being, the center of the will (the solar plexus) will go along with it. The ego, the faculty of the will, will not be eliminated, since it naturally serves the role of translating energy from the level of consciousness to the level of physical reality. When this translation or manifestation is guided by the heart, the energy of the will creates and flows effortlessly. No pushing or forcing is involved. This is when synchronicity occurs: a remarkable coincidence of happenings which greatly enhances the realization of your goals. It seems miraculous to you when things work together in such a way. But in fact this is what happens all the time when you create from the heart. Effortlessness is the hallmark of creating from the heart.
Creating your reality from the heart
True creativity is not based on determination and strong will but on an open heart. Being open and receptive to the new and unknown is vital to being a true creator.
One key to true creativity, then, is the capacity to do nothing: to withhold from doing, fixing, focusing. It is the ability to place your consciousness in a purely receptive but alert mode.
Only by not knowing, by keeping things open, can you create room for something new to enter your reality.
This runs contrary to what much new age literature says about "creating your own reality." It is true that you create your reality all the time. Your consciousness is creative whether you are aware of it or not. But when you want to create your reality consciously, as many books and therapy teach you, it is essential to understand that the most powerful form of creating is not based on the will (being active) but on self-awareness (being receptive).
All change in the material world, for example in the areas of work, relationships or your material surroundings, is a reflection of changes at the inner level. It is only when inner transformation processes are completed that material reality can respond by mirroring it back to you through changing circumstances in your life.
When you try to create from the will, for example by focusing on or visualising your goals all the time, you ignore the inner transformation that is the real prerequisite for change. You are creating in an artificial way and you are bound to be disappointed. You are not creating from the depths of your soul.
The soul speaks to you in moments of silence. You truly listen to its voice when you don't know anymore. Often the soul speaks very clearly at times when you give up and throw in the towel. What happens when you give up and despair is that you open up to the new. You release all your expectations and you are truly receptive to what is.
The despair is caused by the strong beliefs that you had about what should happen in your life. When reality fails to answer these beliefs, you get disappointed and even desperate at some point.
However, if you give up strong expectations and dare to be open to the new, you do not have to reach that point of despair before you get in touch with your soul again. You can become still, receptive and open to what it tells you, without having to be disappointed first.
As long as you "know exactly what you want," you are often limiting the possibilities that are energetically available to you. This new reality you are looking for, whether a job or a relationship or better health, contains many elements that are unknown to you. Often you think that what you desire is something you know (a nice job, a loving partner) projected into the future. But that is not so. What you are really doing by creating a new reality is going outside of your own psychological borders. And you cannot know now what lies beyond those borders.
You can sense very clearly that there is something very desirable there, but you need not narrow it down by focusing or visualizing it. You can simply look forward to it with a sense of openness and curiosity.
Really, to create the most desirable reality for yourself, self-acceptance is much more important than focusing your thoughts or your will. You cannot create something that you are not. You may recite mantras a thousand times and create a lot of positive images in your mind, but as long as they do not reflect what you truly feel (for example anger, depression, unrest), they create nothing but confusion and doubt. ("I'm working so hard but nothing happens".)
Self-acceptance is a form of love. Love is the biggest magnet for positive changes in your life. If you love and accept yourself for who you are, you will attract circumstances and people that reflect your self-love. It's as simple as that.
Feel your own energy, all of your feelings. Feel how beautiful and sincere you are right now, in all of your struggles and sorrow. You are beautiful, with all your "imperfections" and "faults." And that is the only realization that counts.
Embrace who you are, get relaxed with yourself, perhaps look at "your many flaws" with a sense of humor. Perfection is not an option, you know. It is just an illusion.
Creating your reality from the heart is to recognize your Light, here and now. By recognizing it, by becoming aware of it, you are sowing a seed that will grow and take shape at the physical level.
When God created you as individual souls, she did not exert her will. She was simply being Herself and at some point she sensed that there was something "out there" worth exploring. She didn't know exactly what it was, but it did make her feel a little like falling in love. And she assumed without further ado that she was worthy of experiencing this new and inviting reality. She was also a little in love with herself!
And so you took shape as individual souls and God started to experience life through you. How this all came about - the details of the creation process - God did not really bother about. She just loved herself and she was open to change. And those are really the only elements required for you to create your own perfect reality: self-love and a willingness to venture into the new.
Adjusting to living from the heart
Creating from the heart is more powerful and requires less effort than creating from the ego. You do not have to bother about the details; you just need to be open to all there is, both inside and outside.
From this openness, you may now and then sense a certain pull. You may feel drawn towards certain things. This pull is actually the quiet whisper of your heart; it is your intuition. When you act from intuition, you are being pulled instead of pushing. You do not act until you sense on the inner level that it is appropriate to act.
Since you are very much used to pushing, i.e. using your will to create things, the energetic shift from ego to heart is quite challenging for you. The shift requires a tremendous "slow down." To really get in touch with the flow of your intuition, you consciously have to make an effort to "not do," to let everything be. This runs counterintuitive to much that you are taught and are used to. You are very much in the habit of basing your actions upon thought and willpower. You let your thinking determine your goals and you use your will to realize them. This is quite opposite to heart centered creating.
When you live from the heart, you listen to your heart and then act accordingly. You do not think, you listen with an alert and open awareness to what your heart is telling you. The heart speaks through your feelings, not through your mind. The voice of the heart can best be heard when you feel quiet, relaxed and grounded.
The heart shows you the way to the most loving and joyful reality for you right now. Its whispers and suggestions are not based on rational thinking. You can recognize the voice of your heart by its lightness and the note of joy in it. The lightness is there because the heart does not impose; there are no strings attached to its suggestions. Your "heart-self" is not attached to your decisions and it loves you whatever you do.
Living from the heart does not mean you become passive or lethargic. Letting things be without labeling them right or wrong, without pushing them in one way rather than another, requires a lot of strength. It is the strength to be totally present, to face everything there is and just look at it. You may feel empty, or depressed, or nervous, but you do not try to drive these things away. All you do is surround them with your consciousness.
You do not understand the true power of your consciousness. Your consciousness is made of Light. When you hold something in your consciousness, it changes because of that. Your consciousness is a healing force, if you do not bind it by your thinking and your addiction to "doing."
Your lives are filled with the dictatorship of the mind and the will, the primacy of thinking and doing.
Note that both the mind and the will work with general rules. There are general rules of logical thinking; they are the rules of logic. There are general strategies for putting thought into matter; they are the rules of "project management."
But these are all general tenets. General guidelines and rules always have a mechanical component. They are applicable to all or most individual cases; otherwise they would be of little use.
Now intuition works very differently. Intuition is always tailored to one person, at one particular moment. It is highly individualistic. Therefore it cannot be subjected to rational analysis or to general rules.
To live and act according to your intuition therefore asks for a high level of trust, for your choices are then purely based on what you feel is right, instead of what other people's rules say is right.
To live from the heart thus asks you not just to release the habit of overusing your mind and your will-power; it also challenges you to truly trust yourself.
It will take time to learn to listen to your heart, to trust its messages and act upon them. But the more you do so, the more you will understand that it is only by surrendering your worries and doubts to the wisdom of your own heart that you will find inner peace.
When you proceed along this path and you enter the third stage of the transformation from ego to heart, you will find inner peace for the first time. You will realize that it is the urge to control reality through thinking and willing that makes you restless and anxious.
When you release control, you allow the magic of life to unfold. All you have to do is listen. Be alert to what is happening in your life, to what your feelings are towards other people, to what your dreams and desires are. When you are alert to what is happening inside you, reality will provide you with all the information you need to act appropriately.
For example, you may be aware of a desire in your heart for a loving relationship in which you truly communicate with another. If you just notice and accept this longing, without trying to do something about it, you will be amazed about how the universe will respond to it. By not drawing any conclusions, but just holding the longing in the Light of your consciousness, your call will be heard and answered.
It may take longer than your expect, for there are energy shifts that have to take place before certain longings can be fulfilled. But you are the master, the creator of your energetic reality. If you create it from fear, reality will respond accordingly. If you create it from trust and surrender, you will receive everything you desire and more.
Stage Four: Opening up to Spirit
When you have entered stage four, you have found a place of peace and quiet inside you. You frequently make contact with a silence in your heart that you know is of the eternal. Everything you experience is relative compared to this unlimited and all-embracing Being.
This place of peace and silence inside you has also been called Spirit.
In your esoteric traditions, a distinction is made between spirit, soul and body.
The body is the physical dwelling place of the soul for a limited amount of time.
The soul is the non-physical, psychological anchor of experience. It carries the experiences of many lifetimes. The soul develops over time and slowly grows into a many-faceted stone of beauty, every facet reflecting a different type of experience and the knowledge based on it.
The spirit does not change or grow in time.
Spirit is outside of time and space. The spirit in you is the eternal, timeless part of you that is One with the God that created you. It is the divine consciousness that is the foundation of your expression in space and time. You were born from a realm of pure consciousness and you carried part of that consciousness within you throughout all your manifestations in material form.
The soul partakes of duality. It is affected and transformed by its experiences in duality. The spirit is outside of duality. It is the background against which everything develops and evolves. It is the Alpha and Omega, which you might simply call Being or Source.
Silence, outer but especially inner, is the best entrance to experiencing this ever present energy, which is You in your deepest core. In silence, you can get in touch with the most miraculous and self-evident thing there is: Spirit, God, Source, Being.
The soul carries memories of many incarnations. It knows and understands much more than your earthly personality. The soul is connected to extrasensory sources of knowledge, such as your past life personalities and guides or acquaintances on the astral planes. Despite this connection, the soul can be in a state of confusion, ignorant of its true nature. The soul can be traumatized by certain experiences and therefore remain in a place of darkness for some time. The soul is continually evolving and gaining understanding of the duality inherent in life on earth.
The spirit is the immovable point within this development. The soul can be in a state of darkness or enlightenment. Not so the spirit. Spirit is pure Being, pure consciousness. It is in the dark as well as in the light. It is the oneness underlying all duality. When you have arrived at stage four of the transformation from ego to heart, you connect with Spirit. You connect with your Divinity.
Connecting with the God inside you is like being taken out of duality while remaining fully present and grounded. In this state, your consciousness is filled with a deep but quiet ecstasy: a mixture of peace and joy.
You realize that you are not dependent on anything outside of you. You are free. You are truly in the world but not of it.
Connecting with the spirit inside you is not something that happens once and for all. It is a slow and gradual process, in which you connect, disconnect, reconnect... Gradually the focus of your consciousness moves from duality to oneness. It re-orients itself, finding that eventually it is drawn to silence rather than to thoughts and emotions. By silence we mean being fully centered and present, in a state of non-judgmental awareness.
There are no fixed methods or means to get there. The key to connecting with your Spirit is not to follow some discipline (like meditating, or fasting etc.), but to really understand – understand that it is silence that brings you home, not your thoughts or emotions.
This understanding grows slowly as you are increasingly aware of the mechanism of your thoughts and emotions. You let go of old habits and open up to the new reality of heart based consciousness. Ego based consciousness inside you withers and slowly dies.
Dying is not something you do; it is something you allow to happen. You surrender yourself to the dying process. Death is another word for change, transformation. This is always so. Death is always a releasing of the old and an opening up to the new. Within this process, there is not one single moment in which you “are not,” i.e. in which you are dead by your definition. Death as you define it is an illusion. It is only your fear of change that makes you fear death.
You are afraid not only of dying physically, but also of dying emotionally and mentally during your lifetime. But without death, things would become fixed and rigid. You would become the captive of old forms: a worn out body, outdated thought patterns, limiting emotional reactions. Suffocating, isn’t it? Death is a liberator. Death is a cascade of fresh water that breaks open old, rusty gateways and propels you into new areas of experience.
Do not fear death. There is no death, only change.
The passage from ego based consciousness to heart centered living is in many ways a death experience. The more you identify yourself with Spirit, with the God inside you, the more you release things that you used to worry about or that you used to put a lot of energy into. You realize on deeper and deeper levels that there is truly nothing to do, except to be. When you identify with your beingness, instead of the fleeting thoughts and emotions that pass through you, your life is affected immediately. Spirit is not something abstract. It is a reality that you can truly bring down into your life. Being in touch with this purest of sources will eventually change everything in your life. God or Source or Spirit is by its nature creative but in ways that are nearly incomprehensible to you.
Spirit is silent and perennial and yet creative. The reality of the divine cannot really be grasped by the mind. It can only be felt. If you allow it into your life and you recognize it as the whisperings of your heart, everything slowly starts to fall into place. When you are tuned into the reality of spirit, the silent awareness that is behind all of your experiences, you stop pushing or forcing your will upon reality. You allow things to fall back into their natural state of being. You become your natural, true Self. This all occurs in a harmonious, meaningful way. You experience that things come together in a way that has a natural rhythm, a natural flow to it. All you have to do is stay tuned into this divine rhythm and let go of fears and misunderstandings that make you want to intervene.
Helping others from the level of Spirit
When you have made the transition from ego based to heart based consciousness, you are more or less continually in touch with the divine flow of being inside. In this state of being, there is no need or desire to help others, but it comes naturally to you. You draw it to you but not through the will. Energetically you are now emitting certain vibrations. Something is present in your energy field which draws people to you. It is not something you do but something that you are. There is a vibration available in your energy that can help them get in touch with their own divine self.
You can be a mirror to them in which they can see a difficult problem or condition actually being released and transformed into the energy of the solution. They can sense the energy of the solution which is always founded upon contact with the divine self in your being.
You are able to teach them something, and the teaching takes place by you being yourself. It is not by you transmitting knowledge or using certain methods that you teach and heal. It is by allowing yourself to be just who you are and by expressing yourself as you find most joyful that your presence becomes truly helpful. It is by sharing yourself with others that you make available a space of healing for them that they may choose to enter or not. That is up to them.
As a healer or therapist, you really have only to keep in touch with the divine inner flow, with the silent awareness that is Spirit. It is really this connection that moves people and lifts them into a higher, freer state of awareness, if they choose it. If they do, it will occur in a rhythm and flow that is their own.
Being there for others in this way has a very neutral feeling tone to it. It represents a level of detachment where you release your personal desire to change or “cure” others. Such a desire, displayed by all lightworkers at some stage, does not stem from a true understanding of the inner road that people want to travel to find their own truth. Most people need to go to the bottom of certain issues before they are truly ready to release them. When they do so, they really “own” the solution to the issue and this gives them deep satisfaction. Perhaps you recognize this within your own life and the issues you struggled with. Please be aware of this and do not struggle to keep people from “hitting bottom.” If they are determined to go there, they will go there in spite of all that you do or say.
It is better to not be emotionally involved with the people you help. The emotional involvement invites in the personal will to cure or transform others. This personal desire does not help others; it may actually cause blocks in their healing process. Whenever you want people to change, you are not in a space of love and allowance. They sense this. You may think that you are observing and reading them, but they are keen readers of you as well!
In stage four of the transition from ego to heart, it is about transcending the level of the soul and rising to the level of the spirit. We do not mean to say that the soul is in any way “less” than spirit, of course. The point is: you are greater and more encompassing than your soul. The soul is a vehicle for experience. By identifying with Spirit in you, with your divine self, all the things that you have experienced in many, many lifetimes fall into place. You rise above the experiences by not identifying yourself with any one of them. This has a healing effect upon the soul.