Childhood Choices

We made choices in early childhood, which were appropriate then, but are not appropriate now, and yet they continue to govern our experience of life at an unconscious level. It would be wise to review those choices made in childhood.

Here is a list of choices typically made when we were very young. Can you identify the choices you made and the consequences that you might still be living with because of these early choices?

I choose to repress the feeling of hurt because it is too much to bear.

I choose to repress the feeling of anger because of a fear of punishment.

I choose to protect my heart, by shutting down to love.

I choose to give up asking for what I want, because I believe I won't get it.

I choose to disconnect from my needs, because I believe they will not be met.

I choose to hide myself from others, because I am afraid of their judgment or disapproval.

I choose not to speak out because no one listens.

I choose to blame as a way of avoiding responsibility.

I choose to live with resentment rather than forgive and release myself from the past.

I choose to be a victim in the hope that someone will rescue me.

I choose to avoid trying because of the fear of failure.

I choose to judge others because I feel judged.

I choose to judge others because it gives me a feeling of power.

I choose to not acknowledge others, because I feel unacknowledged.

I choose to not attend to others because I feel unattended to.

I choose to be in my mind because I am seeking a solution there.

I choose to be in my mind, because I am seeking to escape there.

I choose to be in my mind, because I am hoping to find someone there.

I choose to please or take care of others as a way of being accepted or included.

I chose to energetically withdraw as a way of protecting myself from being hurt.

I choose to be angry or aggressive as a way of gaining control.

I choose to seek attention, acknowledgement and recognition as a substitute for love and acceptance.

What are the consequences that flow from these choices? You would wise to bring these choices to consciousness, review them and revise them.

Almost all of the decisions and choices we make at the level of mind are motivated at a deep unconscious level by fear and the illusion of separation. Develop the art of looking deeply to see whether the choice you are making is being driven or motivated by fear.

If it is, then you are going further into the mind's world of illusion. You are going further away from the truth of who you are. You are going further away from the place where life is abundant. You are going further into separation. Do not let fear lead you astray. Find that still and silent place within where love abides. Know that the essence of your Being is Love. Let the silent voice of love be your guide.

When you become fully present, thoughts stop and your mind is silent. You are not trying to stop the thoughts. It simply happens as you become present. Thoughts stop as you become present, because thoughts are always about the past or future. You cannot think about the present moment. You would have to take yourself out of the present moment in order to think about it. So if you bring yourself fully present with something that is actually here now, you must emerge out of the mind, and the world of thought. It cannot be otherwise. A noticeable shift will occur within you as you transition from the past and future world of the mind, to the world of now.

You cannot stop thoughts. It is impossible. The very effort to stop thoughts is a reinforcement of the thinking process. All you can do is relax, notice that you are in the mind, and then bring yourself present with that which is already present. If you can see it, hear it, feel it, taste it, touch it or smell it, in this moment, then it is of the present moment.

It is not something you are remembering or imagining with your mind. And so you can be present with it. You are not thinking it into existence. It is actually here now and so you Thoughts will stop, and you will experience a deep feeling of peace as your mind falls silent.

But there is an even deeper level of peace and silence waiting to emerge, as you become more and more present. As your mind becomes more silent, an inner door is opened, allowing an infinite and eternal silence to emerge. This infinite and eternal silence is the very essence of your Being. It is your true nature. It is the essence of all existence. It is the eternal silent presence of pure consciousness. It is the "I AM" of you. It is that dimension of you that exists in this moment and only this moment. It is that dimension of you that exists in Oneness.

It is your Buddha nature. It is the Christ of you, which exists in Oneness with God. It is awakened man. It is awakened woman.

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Leonard Jacobson

Leonard Jacobson is a spiritual teacher, mystic and gifted healer, who is deeply committed to helping others break through to the joyous experience of living in the NOW. 

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