It was a Sunday afternoon and I needed some quiet time in nature. The best and closest place I could find was a school playground. I gave in to the shade of a tree, sat down and closed my eyes. Only a block away traffic roared and all around me people were busy with Sunday yard work.
It is Winter Solstice and while we know the days will begin getting longer, that the sun is returning…we also know that it is a slow process. It is the first day of winter and so we must make peace with the dark cold days of the season.
I’d been feeling really bogged down lately. I was spending way too much time asking, ‘Why’ questions. “Why are things the way they are? Why did that happen? Why isn’t this happening?” I was spending my valuable time asking the questions of suffering, instead of thinking about how I would like things to be.
I didn’t think I left much of an impression. I didn’t believe my presence had made any difference at all. My three daughters and I were on our way back to Florida from Kansas via Ohio, West Virginia and North Carolina.
I used to carry around this unopened bottle of Rescue Remedy, the flower essence for stress. Every time I moved, from one side of the country to the other, I would unpack it from a box and put it on a shelf in the medicine cabinet.
When I was a little girl walking home from school, I used to play a game with the Universe. No one else was around, just me and the Powers that Be, so I would use my imagination to decide what kind of car was going to come around the corner next.
I was more than a little bit intimidated. I was feeling fear the closer we got to one another. Yet I wanted to know him, and I wanted to get close. He was gorgeous and proud, sleek and strong. He weighed 250 pounds.
We Took The Long Way Home...Which wasn’t my intention at all. Grace, Amber, two cats and me, Cat, were headed back to Florida. Just thinking about twenty hours of driving made me tired. Anxious to get the drive over with I left Kansas City with my foot heavy on the gas pedal. I wanted to do it in one day.