True love is transcendental. Without recognition of the formless within yourself, there can be no true transcendental love. If you cannot recognize the formless in yourself, you cannot recognize yourself in the other.
I recently received a very good question about how to reconcile asking for something and allowing what is. The questioner was seeking guidance on how to know when your desire for something runs counter to the universal plan...
There are two dimensions to who you are. The first is what I sometimes call the “surface I”—the person with a past and a future. This is your historical identity, which is relatively fragile because the past and future only exist as thought forms or concepts in the mind.
By living aligned with the present moment, you also align your will with the universal will, which you could call “the will of God”. You don’t have a separate will. The separate will wants to enhance or strengthen one’s sense of self.
Astronomers have discovered evidence to suggest that the universe came into existence fifteen billion years ago in a gigantic explosion and has been expanding ever since. Not only has it been expanding, but it is also growing in complexity and becoming more and more differentiated.
The awareness that’s already present in the questioner needs to be there in the moment when these thoughts arise — to recognize them as thoughts — and then, you are no longer completely trapped in what these thoughts are saying.
Some people find that when problems come, they suddenly wake up and go, “Oh!” They become more alert and more present. When all is going well, alertness decreases and they go, “Okay, let’s have another drink. Where are we going on vacation next?