Your essential identity is formless, is an all-pervasive Presence, of Being prior to all forms, all identifications. Your true identity is consciousness itself, rather than what consciousness had identified with.
posted 24 April, 2015 (Wednesday, 13 August, 2014) - Eckhart Tolle
The pain-body awakens from its dormancy when it gets hungry, when it is time to replenish itself. Alternatively, it may get triggered by an event at any time. The pain- body that is ready to feed can use the most insignificant event as a trigger, something somebody says or does, or even a thought.
At some point in their lives, most people become aware that there is not only birth, growth, success, good health, pleasure, and winning, but also loss, failure, sickness, old age, decay, pain, and death.
The natural way of being after death of a loved one is suffering at first, then there is a deepening. In that deepening, you go to a place where there is no death. And the fact that you felt that means you went deep enough, to the place where there is no death.
This illusory sense of self is what Albert Einstein, who had deep insights not only into the reality of space and time but also into human nature, referred to as “an optical illusion of consciousness.”
True love is transcendental. Without recognition of the formless within yourself, there can be no true transcendental love. If you cannot recognize the formless in yourself, you cannot recognize yourself in the other.