As you cleanse yourself for the coming year, I would ask you to pay attention to an emotional response that may be so common to you, that you do not even realize it is a choice you are making.
I would wish for you that you not have hurt feelings, that emotional response when someone you care about does not give you the attention that you feel you deserve, when you feel slighted, because someone is overly absorbed in their own cares and activities and forgets to shine the light on you.
These little hurt feelings pile up into a resentment against the very people you wish to have love you, and then this resentment begins to be a strain on your relationship, so that even upon seeing someone you love, you want to snap out in anger and hurt, rather than bask in the enjoyment of their company, even though, of course, it is their company and attention you were seeking all along. And so, these little built-up resentments over the phone call not returned, the birthday forgotten, the late appointments, begin to undermine the very love you seek.
You may realize that these are old feelings from your childhood days when you thought that the world revolved around you, before you became aware of the pressures, burdens and tensions of everyday adult life. They are from the days when you took everything personally, assuming that everyone was responding directly to you. But even though you may now think like an adult, the feelings are still there, building up inside you.
But there is an antidote, a way to end this destructive cycle of neediness, hurt and resentment. Your goal is to become so complete, so fully centered within your own glow of love for yourself and your life, that nothing from the outside can undermine it. When you are sufficiently stoked with your own fire, you will be able to tell the difference between someone intentionally snubbing you and someone who is simply distracted, and you will instantly forgive people for simply being who they are and trying to live their lives as best they can.
These hurt feelings are just a mirror of your own unmet needs for self-love, a neediness that, in the end, only you can fill. Let these hurt feelings be a trigger reminding you that you have not yet fully recognized your own beauty and wonder, your own glory and shine.
For when you are filled completely with love, when you are glowing with the wonder that is you, you are complete and whole and do not need recognition from others. And in this state of glowing light and love, you can then apply the greatest antidote of all, which is to give to others what it was you were seeking from them: that smile, that warm greeting, that recognition and attention, true and genuine love, free of resentment, coming from a center that is full and complete, like a warm fire of love that others can come to, feeling that at last they have come home.
Here is a little prayer for today
I am complete and whole. I glow with an inner light of being that is made of love. I love myself deeply, just as I am. I love my life. I am filled with gratitude for the life I am blessed to lead.
My own love completes me and makes me whole. I am a bright and blazing fire of love, enough to light and warm my own life and that of those around me.
I am light. I am love. I am.