Message for October 2017
I’m not sure if it’s just me, but, over recent years, I've become increasingly aware that the world is growing ever fuller of perfectionists. By this, I don’t mean people trying to live a better and more enriching life or trying to find new ways to live spiritually, I mean a collection of souls presenting themselves as the ‘complete package’: already living the perfected life. I've seen this a lot in the ‘new age’ arena where spiritual perfectionism seems prolific. Perhaps this is simply my bewildered reflection on the growing need or perception to present oneself as whole, complete and perfect as that is somehow what’s expected; anything less isn’t acceptable. It worries me as it’s an airbrushed reality, and it presents a false pedestal for others to look towards as we try to sort out our issues to find happiness or peace. Of course, we will all always strive to improve, but that is a fundamental part of being human. Being honest with ourselves is the real key to spiritual growth as it shows a willingness to be real, authentic, vulnerable and true.
At the end of the day, everyone has a choice, and being a perfectionist is no different. I guess it just worries me as it’s possibly not a healthy advert for the rest of us who are doing our best to sort ourselves out and make sense of this thing called life. It’s not the perfectionists who need to change, after all, that is their choice and their path to walk in life, and I am the last person to suggest how someone else should, or should not, live their lives. It’s those of us who have, at some point, wanted to do the same in an attempt to make our lives better that perhaps need to shift our perspectives. We need to realise that it’s perfectly wonderful to be imperfect, flawed, broken and damaged as it’s our acknowledgement of our wounds that allow us to heal, grow, flourish and thrive. Once we realise that a perceived state of perfectionism doesn’t equate to happiness, then it’s power diminishes and we begin to see the true values in life.
I have days when I look out into the world and feel ‘less than’ because I’m not presenting a shiny badge that reads ‘everything is wonderful in my little world’. I’m a spiritual being, a human being and I love just being me, but I’m also flawed and broken at the same time. Yet, I don’t let the latter define me, it’s just a part of my reality. To deny my broken-ness would be like denying the happiness or the days turning into night; every part of me is just as valid as everything else and I’m happy acknowledging this. I spent a great deal of my life trying to get life right and trying to present a façade of perfectionist glory, and it didn’t work as I ended up more lost, alone and broken than ever.
We are no doubt in troubling times, and the need to walk in unity grows ever stronger. Yet aspiring to be what we are not surely only feeds the divide? Surely unity comes from opening up our hearts and souls to truth? If we can acknowledge our own cracks, dents and pain, this helps us to see the pain within others? At the same time, a willingness to be open allows us to step beyond judgement into compassion. Compassion is the true healer and that is the force that binds us together. Walking through life, reaching out to others, being open and wholehearted, matters now, as we can see, first hand, the damage the façades can do.
When we choose to breathe out and allow others to breathe in, we grow in synchronistic harmony with the world. Surely life isn’t truly about one-upmanship or trying to feel better or superior to everyone else? Surely this is why we can see so many fractures and divides? It now seems time to openly acknowledge our cracks, dent and bumps as we are all ‘seared with scars’ (K Gibran). It’s time to love and be loved, to be authentic and vulnerable, to let go and let be, and to be free…
There are days when you are in ‘doing mode’ and there are days when you are floating in ‘being mode’ but there are also days where you are lodged somewhere in between the two. These are the days where you are neither doing nor being, and you can feel a little lost as you feel rudderless and without direction, but unable to rest in ‘being-ness’. There have been quite a few such days recently as you have struggled to regain the momentum to push forward with your plans and ideas, at the same time, you have felt unable to find an inner sense of equilibrium. It’s not that you’re lacking in ideas and plans because you have loads, it’s more a deep inertia of self-questioning and self-doubting that has trapped you in-between here and there. Yet, how can you shift gears? How can you move between here and there? After all, ‘here’ is the present moment and how can you be anywhere but the present moment?
It can be hard to know if you should push more towards doing to get things done or more towards being as you sense a need for self-reflection and spiritual contemplation. Maybe it’s time to think outside of the box and consider the idea of being multi-directional? You don’t have to just do or be, you can oscillate between the two by having a more focused approach to taking time out. Perhaps this is really at the core of your discombobulation: a need to establish a greater sense of equilibrium in your life? Try not to overthink this, feel it within your heart and soul, then breathe deeply into life allowing life to breathe deeply into you…
As you continue to contemplate the concept of the ‘real you’, there is a sense you are beginning to see the ways in which you have tried hard to fit into the box labelled ‘normal’ in life. You have wanted to go with the flow and do what’s expected of you as this has seemed like the most logical approach to living life well. However, you are not just your mind; and it seems your heart and soul are not overly content with ‘normal’. In truth, this is something you already know, it’s just easier at times to brush it under the carpet as it makes for an easier, and often quieter, life. Yet, can you truly ignore or deny your heart and soul? After all, they are fundamental parts of you.
Life is rarely easy, straightforward or black and white, and whilst you have an innate ability to navigate the best path possible, there is a part of you that wonders what the cost of such a strategy is. A deep sense of wonder and puzzlement stirring within you and this inner force is passionate about you re-connecting to your heart and soul in order to live a more connected and enriching life. October looks set to be a time for you to explore what you truly want as you are no longer content to walk the treadmill day in, day out. Whilst the treadmill has merits and can bring some stability, intuitively you long for more. This isn’t necessarily about turning your whole world upside down on its head, it’s about allowing your true essence to flow freely…
October looks set to be a month of consolidation and inner unification as you continue to re-shape and re-define your sense of self as well as your purpose in life. Although you are a very open-minded and intuitive soul, you can sometimes struggle to see beyond the black and white boundaries of everyday life as they can become prison walls, entrapping you in the ideals, expectations and demands of society as well as in your own perceptions, pre-conceived ideas and beliefs. As a result, you can sometimes find it hard to connect to the ‘real you’ as you can feel lost in the distractions of life and lose sight of the signposts you would usually use to navigate the everyday ups and downs.
Obviously, you are a very fluid soul so you can find this all very disconcerting, yet, at the same time, the unknowable fluidity of the situations you often find yourself in also feel exciting and liberating, so you can find yourself in a kind of personal inner tug-o-war between wanting firmer foundations and not. No one ever said it was easy being you! It would be easy to see how frustrating and confusing this can feel, but try to look beyond your perceptions of how life is supposed to be and instead re-focus on how life is. Be present in the here and now and you will soon realise that you are not trapped behind prison walls, you have simply created the idea of them to process the challenges you have faced in life. They exist only because you’ve allowed them into being. Take a breath, let them go and find joy in each and every moment…
There is a big difference between living life to the full and living a full life. There is also a big difference between being you and in being the you, you feel you ought to be. The divide between distractions, ought’s and musts is a big one as the chasm created between enrichment, fulfilment and destiny only grows with the passing of time. It’s easy to scoff and scorn the idea of living an enriching, fulfilling life and striding forth towards your destiny as it may sound more like a fairy-tale than a reality, but should that stop you from trying? Is it better to live life in the way you feel you ought to as that feels more real? Just because some of your dreams feel whimsical and like a fairy-tale, does this mean they’re irrelevant or wrong?
Will such a strategy lead to success? It may well do, but is success measured by fulfilment or enrichment? Success is just success, and whilst it may oil the wheels of life to help them turn a little easier, unless you feel that warm fuzzy feeling within, how can you ever truly know what success means to you? Is success a stand-alone goal where everything else drops perfectly into place as a result or is it actually the other way around? In essence, October looks set to be a time for you to start the process of up-ending some of your belief constructs in order to take a deeper look at how you are living your life. Some of these questions need answers, others have already been answered. You’re ready now to walk a new path…
Despite the seemingly constant stream of things to do, people to see and places to go, there also seems to be a longing for some respite and stillness: some time for reflection, contemplation and restoring some balance. There is a growing sense of anticipation and excitement in the air as you can sense a powerful shift that has its roots deep at the core of your being; you no longer seem content to go with the flow and feel drawn to establish more well-defined boundaries when it comes to the ways in which you live your life. You have always been accommodating of the needs, wishes and demands of others, whilst you are certainly no push-over, you perhaps do allow yourself to be stretched a little too far beyond what you deem to be acceptable, but your desire to help or appease others is often stronger than your will to please yourself.
Whilst this is an admirable trait, there comes a point when you simply cannot sustain such a strategy as it depletes you, and frequently denies you of the opportunity to live in a more enriching way. Of course, this isn’t to say you’re not enriched now, there’s just a sense the equation of your life is out of balance as more goes out than comes in. This can only lead to a deficit and whilst you, more than most, can carry a shortfall of energy, it gets harder to do over time as your sense of self becomes lost in the everyday throng of life. It’s time to realise that being a master of doing isn’t the same as happiness; you can thrive if only you’d let your true essence shine…
October looks set to be a month where your head and heart come together in an imaginative new way as you begin to see your life, and your path, from a very different perspective. There is a sense that you are beginning to step beyond the boundaries you have created in your life, developed from years of using the mantra: ‘ought, must and should’, and you have started to realise just how much you have shaped and defined your life with the hopes and expectations of others. At the same time, you have also had a strong idea as to what life should be about, and this has been so powerful, it has overshadowed your sense of what you intuitively feel life is really about. As a result, there have been times of your life when you have felt at a tangent with yourself; at odds with your head and your heart.
During such times, it has been easy to feel discombobulated and disenchanted with the life you find yourself living as you just can’t keep that inner voice silent and the gap between where you are and where you sense you need to be cannot be glossed over. Of course, life often has other ideas when it comes to following your dreams and living your vision, but is it not important to at least explore the possibility? There is no right or wrong choice here, but making a choice is key as it’s the act of choosing that suggests you have considered the options and made a conscious decision as to how to move forward. Take a deep breath, believe in yourself and step beyond the ordinary…
The concept of embracing your true nature continues to take centre stage throughout October as you begin to contemplate what this actually means for you and your life. The idea of ‘embracing your true nature’ sounds big, bold and courageous, but it only becomes these during the act of actually embracing your true nature, as thinking about it, and rolling the concept around in your head, isn’t quite the same. It’s not that you are lacking in the ability to be big, bold or courageous, as you are almost every day, it’s just that you somehow seem to doubt this about yourself and so hold back, hovering on the side lines as you feel you simply cannot take a leap and be yourself. Are you afraid of being you or are you concerned about the ripples of change such a leap may create?
It’s not in your nature to take such decisions lightly, so you will be thinking of every possible outcome and statistical probability before you act, but whilst this is wise, it can also cause a kind of energetic paralysis as there are never any guaranteed outcomes and, at the same time, the possibilities keep changing as life is fluid and moveable. It’s understandable to want to know ‘what’s next’ before leaping towards something new but it’s not always possible to know the answer to such a question. Sometimes, it can only be an act of faith and trust, allowing your intuition to lead the way. The time has come for you to truly believe in yourself and to honour your true nature by listening to your intuition. Be big, be bold and love yourself for it…
As you continue to explore the unchartered terrain of your heart and soul, there is a growing sense of excitement rippling up from deep within as, in many ways, you feel as though you are finally ‘home’. This isn’t about being in a physical place but being centred and contented living in the wild and mysterious world within; it’s a maelstrom, but it’s you. You have fought the wildness for years as it has felt rebellious and awkward to manage in the everyday pedestrian-ness of life. Yet, you have never been able to squash the wildness as your inner sprite has never stopped dancing. Of course, this has, at times, left you feeling like a fish out of water as you have struggled to fit your wild and unpredictable shaped peg into the square shaped hole called ‘normal’.
Although you have tried to conform to the ideal of normal just to get along in life, it has never sat well with you. To you, normal is like a pair of ill-fitting slippers; you’ll wear them to keep your feet warm but they just aren’t you. October looks set to be a month where you begin to explore some new footwear and consider new ways to dance more freely in life. Whilst you are unlikely to want to completely upend the apple cart of your life, there is a sense that change is needed now as you have become stuck in a rut and your wild energies have grown a little stagnant and stale. Your wild sprite wants to dance and only you can give him/her the power to do so; dancing free doesn’t have to mean chaos, it simply means a willingness to let your heart and soul breathe more freely in life…
As you stand and gaze in awe and wonder at the plethora of opportunities, options and pathways before you, there is a sense of you feeling both excited and overwhelmed as there is just so much choice! You are world-class at collecting possibilities as you thrive on having options; you wither at the thought of restriction and you wilt at the sight of closed doors, you need possibilities as they bring you a sense of space and expansion. Of course, having possibilities isn’t quite the same as actually exploring those possibilities, and it seems you have reached a time of sorting through at least some of those possibilities in order to either embrace them or set them free. Over time you have become a little cluttered with opportunity after opportunity being kept on the shelf ‘just in case’.
In many ways, you are a ‘just in case’ kind of person as you don’t like to disregard an opportunity just in case you need to tap into it again further down the line. Obviously, such a strategy is understandable, but it leaves you with a mountain of possibilities that you have to carry around with you and these weigh you down and stifle your flow considerably. Surely there comes a time when the burden of these (however exciting or enticing they may be) becomes more than the possibility that they may be useful in the future? Surely by holding on to them you are closing the door on new possibilities as even you can only carry so much at any one time? Set yourself free, lighten the load and be ready to welcome something new…
Whilst the inherent randomness of life continues to perplex, bemuse and frustrate you, there is a growing sense you are beginning to shift into a space of acceptance as you let go of resistance and embrace a more open-hearted approach to living more fluidly. Of course, deep down, you are still irked by change, but, by accepting it’s a part of life, it somehow becomes easier to ride the waves as you feel less of a victim but more of a willing participant in life. Perhaps this distinction is only small, but it seems significant enough to be important, as it’s a sign you are adopting a more open-hearted approach to living and being. At the same time, there is a sense you are beginning to think about your path ahead and this process is triggering a great deal of inner reflection as you contemplate the life you have lived, the life you are living and the life you would like to be living in the future.
Of course, there are no guarantees as to what lies around each corner in life but it’s important to have a sense of direction - somewhat ironic given your recent acceptance of the inherent randomness of life - but even in chaos, order can be found. Accepting change and randomness doesn’t mean throwing your hands up in the air and drifting along aimlessly with the currents of life, it means a willingness to move with the changing currents of life. Having a sense of direction and purpose enables you to shape and define your life with every step you take. Whilst you cannot be sure of the final destination, you can make the most of the journey and live the best life you can possibly live…
Reaching a point of realisation where suddenly everything makes sense but doesn’t at the same time, is not a situation many could comprehend as it feels slightly too brain bending and mind boggling to consider. Yet, here you find yourself in the space in-between here and there: the space where all of the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of your life have come together but you no longer recognise the picture. It’s as though you’ve shifted your perspective in such a profound way, you are finding it hard to process the everyday pedestrian nature of life, yet, at the same time, without this to anchor you in the present, your existential ponderings make even less sense than usual. Although, on the surface, this would appear to be a challenging situation to be in, you seem to be thriving!
Of course, there really isn’t anyone else quite like you, so it’s perfectly plausible for you to thrive where others would flounder as you grow exponentially when pushed beyond your comfort zone and you flourish when in unchartered terrain. This doesn’t mean you always like living on the edge, but maintaining the status quo to keep on keeping on leaves you flat, depleted and hollow. However, despite the expansive nature of this shift, there is still a part of you unsure quite what to do next as you seem slightly unsure if you should just go with the flow of thriving or if you should be questioning exactly why you are thriving in seemingly less than rosy conditions. Stop over-analysing this! Why not allow it and simply thrive? This is your time to celebrate the perfectly incomprehensible but perfectly wonderful nature of being you…
To do or not to do. To explore or not to explore. To…well, this could go on for quite some time. You’re in a state of uncertainty and hesitation, almost a state of ‘anti-flow’, it’s as though your usually fluid, free-flowing nature is being held back by an unwillingness to stop clinging on to the rock you’ve been sitting on for quite some time. It’s a very pleasant rock; it’s comfortable and just about the right size, but it’s become more of a place of refuge for you and, over time, you have started to see the rock more as home. Whilst you could quite happily live on this little rock that’s floating about somewhere in space and time, it was only ever meant to be a temporary rest-stop on your journey between here and there, but it’s become more than that as you have clung on and resisted the urge to go with the flow.
Yet, flowing is what you do, as you are a fluid, liquefied, molten soul and your little rock represents the opposite. It’s therefore important for you to ask yourself why you are so fond of your rock: is it because it feels safe? Is it because it’s familiar to you or is it because you’re simply too weary of going with the flow? These are actually very big questions to consider, so take your time to answer them with an open heart and mind. It could be that it’s hard to see beyond the edges of the rock and, with no clear pathway in sight, it just seems easier to stay put. Go beyond what you see, to feel your way ahead now; trust your intuition and let it lead the way…
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