I've always been extremely fascinated with the concept of time travel. I have often times dreamed of going back in time to visit myself at various stages of my life. I always envision that I would come as the person I am now, to a younger or older version of myself, and imparting the wisdom and knowledge I have gained. I daydream that I would visit these periods in my life where I was at a low point and felt that there was no hope or solution in sight. I would comfort myself and let her know all the amazing things in store for her.
The funny part is that some of the things that I really, really wished would have happened in my life didn't and they were blessings in disguise. Some of the worst things that I endured helped me become stronger and wiser. I reflect on the way my life turned out and I've accomplished far more than I had ever envisioned, hoped for or expected were possible. The let downs I have felt for potentials that never turned out the way I wanted, were actually re-routed opportunities for other, much better things, that were far more gratifying for me in the long run.
I have let go of the regrets of potentials that weren't meant to be. I just wish I hadn't wasted so much time worrying about things that never actually happened and yearning for things that wouldn’t have brought me true happiness anyway!
There is a real fascination with time travel, do we all secretly wish we could go back and do it differently? Or better yet, go back and really, really appreciate what we had at the time?! If I could go back and hug my Grandma just one more time! Have you ever looked at a picture of your younger self and thought how thin you looked, remembering how at the time you thought you looked fat! As the saying goes, youth is wasted on the young!
I ponder the difference between expectations and outcomes. How much is left to fate and how much is up to us to manifest and shape our destiny. There are things that I really want to make happen in my life. Sometimes I will use my willpower to make things come to fruition. I become frustrated when things don't happen the way I want them to. I often take the steps necessary to make my dreams come true, however, sometimes no matter how hard I try, events do not turn out the way I want. I become perplexed as to when I should use my will to make things happen and when I should sit back and let stuff happen on its own.
When we have high expectations, we may be discouraged when people and situations disappoint us. I know that if I am pushing my will, that I am not allowing the Divine plan to unfold. On one hand, I know that because of my motivation and assertiveness I've made lots of things happen in my life, that perhaps wouldn't have, if I didn't put myself out there and take risks. On the other hand, there have been times I have pushed things to happen, that I later regretted because I didn’t it to happen naturally. I actually came up with the idea for writing Notes to Myself based on the idea that I could visit myself in the past and in the future and share what I've learned.
In light of today's climate, the crash of our financial system and the natural disasters that are occurring at this time, we are all sitting at the edge of our seats, wondering, what's going to happen next? We make speculations and assumptions, we read the energy of what the potentials are. We are making provisions in our lives to the best of our abilities to protect ourselves. Yet, in the meantime, we wait and wonder.
I can honestly say I am not feeling scared and worried. I do feel some anxiety and uncertainty, since I am human. I honestly feel that everything is going to be okay, actually better than just okay. I know that we need to go through this adjustment period and weed out what is of value to us and what isn't, and ultimately find our authentic path.
I believe it is going to take a combination of having expectations of what we really value and need in our lives, but not being tied to the outcome. We need to leave room for miracles to happen. As we learn to quiet our bodies and minds and come into the present moment we can determine when we are meant to sit back and go with the flow and when it is appropriate to get out there and do the leg work.
All is really in Divine and perfect order. We will one day look back at this period and will understand what we have gained and lost during this important phase in our history.
The outcomes and expectations really don't mean anything. All that really matters is this present moment. Being at peace, sharing love and trusting. The rest will turn out as it will.
I surrender in this moment. I allow it to be what it is. I want for nothing, for I have all that I need. I let go of my expectations so that miracles can happen. I trust in the Divine flow of the Universe to assist me in sorting through what is of value in my life and what isn't. Please, God, give me the strength and courage to let go of what is not needed in my life so that there is room for what is.
The only outcome that I ask for is Your will for the highest good and greatest joy for all concerned. In what form, and how these miracles occur, I leave up to you, dear Holy One.
Guide me on my path. I will follow.
And so it is.