And so we are all inscribed in the book of life. Our past is written as we heal in the present and our future journey is laced with unlimited possibilities. Our tree of life is such a beautiful intricate creation, with limbs that branch off in different directions, and roots that dig deep into the ground bringing us much stability and grounding. Our leaves reach toward the sunshine gaining nourishment and strength in the process. We write our story and rewrite it yet again. Each version brings various blessings and challenges. Each day is an opportunity to let go of old realities that no longer serve us and create new ones that bless and serve us. Thus it is symbolic of our Akashic Records.
I have struggled with self-love and self-worth my entire life. Whether it was from childhood traumas or past life experiences or a combination of both, there is something in me that says I’m not worthy of love or good things. On a conscious level, I, of course, know this is not true. I have worked on my spiritual growth most of my life yet this shadow side creeps up when I least expect it. I have done everything possible to release this negativity, yet still, it prevails.
Many highly sensitive ones, empaths, healers, blue rays, etc. suffer from low self-esteem and feelings of unworthiness. We absorb the energy of those around us and take it on as our own. We’re so sensitive that everything impacts us. We try helping to the detriment of our own well being. We are givers and have to learn how to receive as well.
My way to handle this issue is I choose to take risks even when I don’t think I can succeed. I just do it. I shower love on others even when I feel I don’t deserve it in return. I nurture and make myself feel good even when I think I’m fat and clumsy. Most of all I don’t take myself or things seriously. I laugh at myself and make light of situations. I move forward one step at a time and I shake off the little voice inside my head that says, “You are not good enough”. I bless my pain and forgive myself for creating it.
I love to give but receiving is difficult for me. I give love with all my heart and soul to as many people and animals that I can. I allow myself to receive when I start going into feelings of unworthiness. I spend time in nature and caring for animals. I connect with friends and family and enjoy a good laugh or a good cry. I just allow my cup to overflow with more and more blessings until this feeling just passes and I am enveloped in love.
I have this recurring vision of myself as a Monk, living in a quiet sanctuary. I see myself in a meadow, surrounded by a grassy field. I am on my hands and knees gently praying over just one blade of grass. At first, I thought it was odd that it was just one blade, but then I intuited that sending love to this one blade is just as powerful and important as blessing them all. We are all interconnected and what we do for one affects the whole. Whenever I connect with this image a feeling of peace washes over me. I feel the gentle energy of that time and place and long to be there once again.
Dear God and the Angels,
Shower me with the pink healing rays of love through Archangel Chamuel and the emerald green healing rays of Archangel Raphael. Guide me in ways of better caring and nurturing myself. I know I will make mistakes and not be as perfect as I think I ought to be but I still don’t need to be so hard on myself. I truly want to love and care for myself without getting so upset about my faults. I need strength to overcome thoughts that I am not worthy of love or good things. God knows that I am. Enter my head and my heart and reweave my thoughts into positive ones. I accept this blessing.
And so it is.