My beautiful dog, Staci, a shepherd mix, that I've had for 13 years, got a terrible infection in her leg last week. I rushed her to the vet and she was diagnosed with cancerous tumor that caused it. I'm so grateful that the antibiotics have worked to clear up the infection, and my beloved companion is back to her usual perky self. She doesn't have much time to live since this type of cancer spreads pretty quickly. The vet told me, take her home and love and appreciate her for as long as it's meant to be. I'm being guided as to how to live in the present moment and appreciate the precious time that I have.
I'm grateful that she's given me more time. I'm not prepared to let her go just yet. She's always been the one constant, dependable force in my life. Her calm, loving presence has sustained me during my darkest times. I have never felt afraid or alone, as she's always been by my side. There is nothing like a dog, to meet you at the door, excited and happy as can be. Whether I've been gone all day or gone just to get the mail, I get the same warm welcome! Dogs are such special creatures. I wish I could have that kind of enthusiasm and patience!
I got Staci when she was 8 weeks old from Pets in Distress. I took one look at her and it was love at first sight. She was very skittish and unsure, as was I. While I was giving her energy healing to help clear the infection and cancer in her leg I laid with her and reminisced about all that we've been through. The good times and the bad times, she's been with me through it all. With tears streaming down my face, I thanked her for being by my side while I raised my son alone and for giving me strength and love when I needed it. I realized how much we've all grown in so many ways, over the years. When the vet said she was an old girl and had a good long life, I smiled, knowing we have shared a lot together.
I appreciate that I have this time to transition and let go. Every moment we have together is a gift from God. Our long nightly walks, and car rides are happy and bittersweet. I've taken them for granted up until now. Each day is a miracle from God and I am so happy to have her still with me. I know that I have to give her the space to decide when she's ready to go. I have to treasure each moment and at the same time not hold on too tight. She's been my best friend and my most loyal companion. She's getting what she enjoys to eat, endless treats and walks as often as she likes. We all need to enjoy every moment as if it were the last. We don't know when our loved ones or we will be gone.
The process of letting go is not an easy one. The past few months, have been beyond challenging. I have had more stress and anxiety than I've had in a long time. We hold the fear, and sadness in the cellular memory of our body. A friend was massaging my neck and back today. When rubbing around my neck I accessed this incredible sadness, I felt the pain at the deepest level and I felt like I was going to break down into tears. Having body and energy work done during this stressful time is highly beneficial. We need to release what we are carrying and not claim it. It's all part of really letting go, once and for all.
We are all being pushed to our limit as we are strengthening our core. It's almost an honor to me that Staci is choosing to transition at this time. I know that she would never leave me if she didn't think I was ready and could handle it. The space that she has held for me has been significant. She's showing me and saying, Mom, we've grown up together and I'm proud of you. We've graduated to the next level. I've got to move on to new beginnings and so do you. I trust that you can handle this part of the journey on your own. I know that she will always be by my side as part of my angelic team. I'm not ready yet, but I'm in the preparation stage, as are we all. The energy hasn't been moving much in the past few months. We've had surges and purges as we clear the path. We are graduating to the next level.
The transition of my beloved, sweet, smart, pet is only one of the many ways I have to let go. Many things we've depended on and thought we couldn't live without are leaving. It is all part of our divine plan. We have used people and things as a crutch. We didn't know our own power and ability. We are being shown that we don't need all the things we thought we did. In essence we are not losing anything, it's just changing form and transitioning to better ways of serving us. We need so much less than we thought we did. Our strength comes from the core and depth of our being. As may of us are losing our homes, jobs, relationships, the credit we depended on to sustain us, the credit cards we used for our pleasure and necessities, and even our youth, we are being shown that none of this defines who we really are. The illusion of the ego has caused us to falsely identify with whatever we thought we couldn't live without. It's hard to imagine that I will have to live without my special girl.
We are losing many things, but most importantly our illusions are shattering of who we thought we were, what we thought we needed to survive and how we conducted our lives. Once we can truly release our illusions we will gain back so much of what we lost in new and unique ways. It has been a challenging process. It has been exhausting, frustrating, depleting and sorrowful. We have faced so much fear, anxiety, sadness and regret. Not all of it has been bad, we only need to look around and appreciate the love we have and find joy in the little things. We are entering our core. If we can trust and have faith that nothing is lost or forgotten, that we are truly protected and loved, that the grandest vision of what we want for our lives is manifesting, we can get through this phase and allow ourselves to remain calm, peaceful and in harmony with the divine flow.
The issues I have been confronting lately have been very challenging.
I am emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted and drained from all I have endured. I have come to the realization that it is beyond my capabilities to control the outcome or make things happen any quicker than they are going to happen. I surrender my will. I feel powerless, although I know this is only an illusion.
Instead, I grant myself permission to rest and rejuvenate. When there is something that I can do, I'll do it. In the meantime, I let go of the outcome. I trust that things will be resolved in Divine timing as it is meant to be, all in alignment with my highest good.
Please show me how I can let go of all the ways that I try to control things. I want to learn how to allow things to unfold naturally, in their own way. I'm ready to be in the Divine flow of creation. I trust that you are the guiding force in my life and that all is well and as it should be.
Thank you for this opportunity to show me how powerful I really am. My power lies in the love I share, living in the NOW moment and being at peace and in harmony with myself.
I am grateful for this chance for new beginnings and a new way of be-ing.
I accept this gift with grace and ease.
And so it is.