How May I Serve Others So that They May Have What I Desire?

A great question to ask yourself as we celebrate the end of our year (and even the end of an era) is this: How may I serve others so that they may have what I desire? The answer to this seemingly contradictory question holds the key to authentic inner peace. Many callers to my radio show are struggling with fears, worries, and concerns that stem, as they see it, from unfulfilled desires. I usually suggest that they try wanting something more for others than they want it for themselves. The love required to do this turns their focus away from the constant turmoil of the ego and instead opens real possibilities for living their highest and most joyful purpose.

Supportiveness, or service to others, is one of the four cardinal virtues described by Lao-tzu. When you extend yourself in a spirit of giving, helping, or loving, you act as God acts. Imagine shifting your attention off of yourself and asking the universal mind: How may I serve? When you do so, the message you are sending is: I’m not thinking about myself and what I can or can’t have. Your attention is on making someone else feel better.

Anytime you’re supportive of others, you automatically remove ego from the picture. And with no ego, you go from edging God out to being more like God. Practice giving and serving without expectation of reward (or even a thank-you)—let your reward be spiritual fulfillment. This is what Kahlil Gibran meant when he wrote in The Prophet: “There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.”

The greatest joy comes from giving and serving. That’s much better than the discomfort and distress of focusing exclusively on yourself and what’s in it for you. When you make the shift to supporting others in your life, without expecting anything in return, you’ll think less about what you want and find comfort and joy in the act of giving and serving. This giving, loving, serving person is the real you.

Love you,
Wayne

Comments

happyme 16th December 2012 8:27 am
Quote:

When you make the shift to supporting others in your life, without expecting anything in return, you’ll think less about what you want and find comfort and joy in the act of giving and serving. This giving, loving, serving person is the real you.

Perhaps the hardest shift in human history... :)

Radiant Love Energy 16th December 2012 10:14 am

In the mornings I like to start with a meditation by repeatedly ask the question: "In what ways can I help and serve others today?" Lots of answers always come. Something I can say to encourage a friend. Something I can offer a family member. Time I can spend with my wife and son. Etc etc. The answers will come when the focus is on serving others. Whereas if the focus is on how can I serve myself, for me that can be more of a struggle. Thank you Dr Dyer!!

ToTwoTOo 16th December 2012 10:35 am

It is a nice thought if to have a full-time, dedicated servant to serve me. It is not a nice thought to consider myself to be a full-time servant to other. Give and receive is a good balance, is it not? Not all people agree that 'take' is so wrong. Give, receive and TAKE. Hmm.

What I would like to have for myself is primarily that other take no interest and make no claim of me and mine. You have yours, I have mine. Don't deprive me and I won't deprive you. If you need, you deserve to receive. If I need, I deserve to receive. If you want, best of luck to you. If I want, best of luck to me.

ToTwoTOo 16th December 2012 11:02 am

I find myself thinking about this some more.

Go to the store for me.
Fold the laundry.
Lend me money.
Call this person for me.
Wash the dishes.
Go clean the bathroom.
Go vacuum the rug.
Now, go away.
Return when I beckon and call you to come.
Promise me you will not do _____.
Promise me you will do ________.

This is how I was raised - as a servant.

Violence is used when One decides to resist or assert their own will. Servitude and slavery are not always so "godly".

Over the past few years, Humanity has put it upon me (without my consent or agreement) that my life is "to be in service to Humanity". Have you ASKED me if this is what I would like to "do" with my life?

And if I have served so dutifully, you have also put it upon me to "expect" no "thank yous", which is to say - my "service" will go unacknowledged. I am further commanded to be "happy about it".

For the greater good of Humanity, I must accept homosexual marriage and be not against it. I must accept and conform. If I do not, I will suffer. Go with the flow and CONFORM. Obey. Be this way. Be that way.

Nuts.

happyme 16th December 2012 11:32 am
Quote:

For the greater good of Humanity, I must accept homosexual marriage and be not against it. I must accept and conform. If I do not, I will suffer. Go with the flow and CONFORM. Obey. Be this way. Be that way.

if you see i am you and you are me... then you work for yourself, and you give as much as you can for your own business... you take as much as you want for your own business...
It doesn't matter how many times you expect others to say thank you, they won't... but instead, you take the time to thank those around you, and see what that brings back to you.
Service to humanity doesn't mean kill yourself for the job, it means to only be mindful and thoughtful of what you think and what you say, while you simply are yourself... in that thoughtfulness you find your own treasure. In the group you belong to or you interact with, can make a Lifetime of a difference...
Peace to you 2 :smitten:
(hence to me too)

and remember to just BE... not what others want you to be, but who you know to be so well, it is your service, your role and the gift to all of us :smitten:

happyme 16th December 2012 1:13 pm
Quote:

.Over the past few years, Humanity has put it upon me (without my consent or agreement) that my life is "to be in service to Humanity". Have you ASKED me if this is what I would like to "do" with my life?

Upon u and every other human being alive on this earth... We are in this together <3
And by the way, when you are conscious about your thoughts you can remember the exact time you said "i'm in"... I still remember when happened, what i was doing and where i was at... Even how i was sitting at the exact minute it happened....

Baloneypants 16th December 2012 4:29 pm

Of course in a Universe where all beings are One, to serve others would be to serve the self. You are the giver of the gift, and the reciever, at the moment the gift is given to another.

Not only does service to others not make you a slave, it creates an atmosphere where the cycle will always be 'others' that are always serving 'others' which of course means others serving you, if you are serving them! :)

Ildi 16th December 2012 4:31 pm
Quote:

The greatest joy comes from giving and serving.

Hmmm. That sounds familiar. "It's better to give than to receive!" I hear that from people, on the radio and everywhere. Especially around Xmas time. I never found that to be true, not as a child, and not as an adult. For me the two always felt about the same. I never got more joy out of doing things for others than for myself. For me the greatest joy comes from being myself, being happy, and hopefully spread that among the people whom are around me. I feel that by taking care of myself, my emotional and physical well being, I can be more helpful to people who want to know "how I do it". So I believe that I should give to and serve myself first, before I can do it to anyone else. That is how I carry my light.

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Wayne W. Dyer

Wayne W. Dyer, Ph.D., is an internationally renowned author and speaker in the field of self-development. He's the author of 30 books, has created many audio programs and videos, and has appeared on thousands of television and radio shows.

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