Experiencing the Lull and the Big Purge of Freedom

We just completed a big purge, and thus, we are now in a lull. The lunar eclipse and full moon supported us in really seeing who we are, in allowing us to go into that scary and seemingly dark space, and now we are out and on the other side. 

If you are one who is unusually sensitive and connects easily, you may have experienced the lunar eclipse on August 16th with confusing feelings of low self worth, perhaps self-loathing, and even guilt for no apparent reason. You may have felt just plain icky and you did not know why. Suddenly feeling bad about ourselves for no apparent reason is simply a manifestation of the lunar eclipse supporting us in going deep within and seeing the denser aspects of who we are. 

After its passing, we were then given an opportunity to shed a lot around us. We may have suddenly felt as though it was time for a big housecleaning, and not just our physical homes! After all we had been through in the past few months and weeks, it was indeed time for a rest...time for us to find sacred spaces, shed and purge anything in our lives which had not felt good to us, and know that we could now live and be free and clear of any denser and unpleasant energies (within and without). 

We had actually and finally come home....it was indeed time for the "other side." We could now be here and feel the peace, tranquility, ease, and comfort that had escaped us in recent times past. It was time to be back in our comfort zones once again...comfort zones we had not been in since March of 2007. We can now know that being in the muck and unpleasantness of another reality is now forever over (except for the times we must return, if ever so briefly J). We can now know that we are done, that we no longer have to be a part of any unpleasant and denser energies. We can now rest assured that the roles we had to play in previous times of interacting with these energies to bring them "up" are now over. We do not have to do this ever again. Seeming sacrifices made for the good of another or the good of the whole were suddenly released now...and many of us were ever ready for this change indeed (perhaps part of the reason for the "guilt" as well, as we said bye-bye). 

So then, many are being guided to sacred spaces of their own, as sudden openings and manifestations are occurring when they would not before. In this new land of simplicity, peace, and tranquility, tasks are being accomplished slowly, with ease, and in an effortless way. There is no density here...only a lightness and ease with a simple and sweet flow. 

The purging and detoxing that is just finishing now and has been for the past few weeks, is simply a releasing of all of the old denser energies that we had around us. The purging is not necessarily a purging of our denser selves, but a purging of the energies of our surroundings that we were so engulfed in during recent weeks. We were trapped in denser energies for awhile and can now let them go. 

This purging can manifest as intestinal distress and pressure, bladder pain, muscle pain, and exhaustion. It can even feel as though there are toxins within our bodies that just plain hurt. It can be difficult to eat much of anything during these times, and difficult to eat at all as our bodies are going through so much. Eating light and drinking lots of pure water are always good remedies. 

When new light arrives, we can feel intense sinus pain and pressure. This is very common. It can also feel as though we are having some challenges with allergies as well (but sometimes we are just having allergy symptoms). The sinus pain is the expansion we feel when we are opening to more light...so is the upper back and neck pain. The allergy symptoms can occur when we are resisting our old environment as it no longer vibrates where we do. So then, although we have arrived in a new and better feeling spaces, we can still be detoxing from the old and adjusting to the new! 

September will bring in more of the new....more of the beauty, simplicity, and light we have been longing for. And October will usher in more rapid and solid manifestations of our new spaces, including the supports we will need in times to come. October will be much more fast moving and intense and we will barely be able to catch our breaths with all the new manifestations occurring for us. And November will very possibly bring in a rocky, tumultuous, and gutting surprise for much of the old world. 

So even though it may seem very quiet of late, it can simply be nice to have a much needed rest, enjoy the lull, and catch our breaths before things rev up once again. 

Wishing you heaven in your heart, starlight in your soul, and miracles in your life in these miraculous times...

Until next time,


patriciapearl 24th August 2008 4:45 pm

Hello bryan . . . I am grateful that you shared this information about this movie stopping, nothingness experience you had. Are you willing to elaborate about it? You are writing about thoughts that I too have too have had in my head on occasion. I have learned today also . . . that gems of value do not always have to come in gift wrapped words or on the wings of white doves. None the less . . . the gift is given. As in mining gold . . . it in the sorting through the so called mud . . . the pieces of precious gold is found. We just have to be willing to get our hands a little dirty . . . or in this case . . . our eyes and ears.

bryan 24th August 2008 4:54 pm

i got a little confused because i was communicate with mariu (?spelling) and then wHat posted so my mind was not understanding. so i'm gonna respond to you.

i'm not sure i can elaborate more. it was me walking down robson street with my friend. we regularly went to the central library in vancouver. he was on my left. we passed by sears and i started talking to hans...i looked his way and saw the cars in the background....suddenly the cars stopped...hans stopped..everyone stopped. i wasn't moving either when it stopped...it was only a few seconds but it was like slow motion...you know like right before you're about to be in an accident everything goes slow motion and you can remember everything...anyways..everything stopped...it was just like i was watching a movie on the movie screen yet i was in it and the movie paused. there was still the cars and people but they didn't move. there was not change in colors or anything. it was just little me in silence looking at the stopped cars and people. i then looked forward again away from hans direction & all started moving again.

bryan 24th August 2008 4:58 pm

the nothingness was more of the feeling during the experience...i just felt utterly lonely for a brief few seconds as everything stopped. it was just as though this was a movie and i was the only real character and everyone else were just projections. i just knew after that experience that i wasn't interested in having it fulltime and i understand now why we have illusion. makes sense huh?

i love what you said


that gems of value do not always have to come in gift wrapped words or on the wings of white doves. None the less . . . the gift is given. As in mining gold . . . it in the sorting through the so called mud . . . the pieces of precious gold is found. We just have to be willing to get our hands a little dirty . . . or in this case . . . our eyes and ears.

there is lots of mud...i think the answers lie within us...the gold is found within us...not from the new age movement. i used to read channelings for years but now i can't stomach them because they hold no answers...the gold has always been inside me...i just love what you wrote above...very nice!

patriciapearl 24th August 2008 5:22 pm

. . . and I loved your beautiful words:

"the gold has always been inside me" . . . and so it is! In me too.

Bryan . . . thank you for sharing this.

Mariù 24th August 2008 5:25 pm

Thank you for your posts, they have been very helpful too as I have been exploring my own thoughts about this kind of subject and it's not an easy one sometimes.

Maybe one day could be cool to go again to that exact place and see what happens! By the way I think that there are people out there that can relate and share similar experiences and I'm sure you can find them. I can relate with the little white lights for example and with quite a few deja vu, when they happen feels like things are very slow (not quite stop) and I'm observing...interesting stuff...weird at the same time.

Hi Patricia,
I so loved what you wrote too very nice! Clear and precise, I really loved thinking about the gold bits in the mud! Thank you!

bryan 24th August 2008 5:36 pm

thanks both for listening and sharing with me your own experiences.

yeah..this subject isn't easy...but hans and i over time have gotten comfortable with the whole notion that we are nothingness or solely consciousness that occupies no space and time and we "appear to move" from one illusion to the next. when we first come to the realization we freaked out quite a bit...it was only a few months ago...i had had an emotional "breakdown" of sorts in february with lots of crying and such and it hit me the final day of crying that I KNOW NOTHING...months passed by until 2 months ago or so when hans and i were talking about experiences and how this reality is illusion...we then realized suddenly how then our bodies are illusion and so must be the ascension also. so then i thought what purpose would that serve? to keep us focused in the illusion?

it was very difficult for me to come to the conclusion. like i said i was going mental and freaking out from it...now i'm more at peace with the idea and feel pretty okay with it.

i would love to hear other people's experiences also!!

patriciapearl 24th August 2008 5:42 pm

I would welcome "practical "guidance on how to navigate (how to behave) in the illusion.

Right now . . . that would be as helpful as concepts.

bryan 24th August 2008 5:43 pm

and mariu..interesting the white lights in the vision huh?

what i wonder is why do these things happen? like why did i get things stopping around me?

we've been told that our "head stuff" is because we've "pulled a bit out of the collective consciousness"..who knows...

but i'd love to know why the lights in my vision? why the "head stuff"? why everything stopping?

i figure the best way to get closer to answers is by sharing experiences...

so anyone else have interesting experiences they want to share?

bryan 24th August 2008 5:45 pm

I would welcome "practical "guidance on how to navigate (how to behave) in the illusion.
Right now . . . that would be as helpful as concepts.

i've got similar issues.

with the symptoms i have now i seem to have issues functioning well in this illusion. like money and other issues.

bryan 24th August 2008 5:49 pm

and i'll be back on tomorrow

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one"

Mariù 24th August 2008 6:17 pm

Indeed it's interesting Bryan and I wish I knew the meaning of those lights too or of many feelings/sensations/visions I have.

I do agree with you when you say that the best way to get closer to an answer is by sharing with others and I share with Patricia the interest in elaborate this further and get some practical guidance. Guidance is always within ourselves of course, but we can help each other bring it all up to the surface. Cool concepts! Funny enough today I've been having these thoughts myself, because I felt quite strange and this was definitely "one of those days"...so keep my mind focused on this great sharing has been good! Kept me away from freaking and getting anxious.

By what you say to Patricia, I get that you accepted the fact that this is an illusion and the initial shock is now past, and you would like to experience it with the fullness of you? By that I mean in total well-being? I guess that if this illusion is a persistent one, like Einstein said, the ideal would be to function well in it right?

camelman555 24th August 2008 9:29 pm

sounds like just another control drama to me

life is full of choices within choices , cycles within cycles , bits and pieces

bryan 25th August 2008 3:35 am

seems i'm always having one of those days. since this whole illusionary ascension business started (at least for me i noticed changes in me in the early 90s) and specifically the REALLY nasty symptoms started in 2005, i've really begun to hate this illusion. obviously the heart noises and diarrhea make me crazy and especially being exhausted all the time and running into things...but really the pain in the ass is the money issue and instability. my partner and i always provided well for ourselves and then with the symptoms everything went poof poof poof. so on top of the nasty symptoms and lacking in money (we now have $81 and that's more than we've had in 2 months) there is also the uncomfortableness in dealing with the "3D-ers" around us. that seems to be the most difficult issue. so patricia and her comment about functioning well in it had it right on. maybe an illusionary ascension manuel with a warning label on it. in the beginning i had no idea what was happening to me and now that i do i'm over it. can we have another story please?!

bryan 25th August 2008 3:39 am

also i wanted to say with the "head stuff" of late hans and i feel as though we could pop out of our bodies. i'm paying attention more to the myriad of cool "head things" we're experiencing...

but i still come back to this being an illusion. the symptoms we get would be from our physical senses which obviously are illusionary also since my physical body is illusionary. so....i just enjoy the sensation and see where all this leads to.

i have to say though that they could have chosen a better story to trap me in illusion. how about a planet full of loving people with no EGOs. a planet where people have integrity and there is no greed and everyone can live in a nice house and have abundance. i mean haven't we all had enough of this sick and twisted planet.

bryan 25th August 2008 3:48 am

i'll tell you a story. hans and i were flying british airways from amsterdam to vancouver and we got in the seats in front of the toilets. they didn't go down and we had 3 italians sitting in front of us with their sits fully reclining. we had an older french lady sharing our section and she found it uncomfortable having the italian guys seat on her lap. i asked kindly if they would put up their chairs but they wouldn't. so hans and i didn't have much room nor the poor french lady so we would bump constantly into their chairs and they got irritated. what happened next was a screaming match between me and the italians. i admit i called them a bunch of names in italian but they deserved it. anyways. we screamed back and forth. and over came this fat gay british flight attendant. now the british (as well as americans) aren't comfortable with anger so he threatened to have the police meet all of us in heathrow. i was laughing. you know why? in continental europe screaming matches happen lots of times...it's called a discussion and they can get rather animated.

Mariù 25th August 2008 3:50 am

Many say that you can create a "nice illusion", so to speak, by only focusing on the things you like and completely ignoring what you don't like, so it starts to fading in your illusion until it completely disappears.

I can tell you that for me works well, have you tried it? When I drop resistance and I give my attention to just things I like, even pretty selfishly without caring about others opionion, things go sooo well!

When I don't manage to do that for a few days and I get distracted and entertained by the mud I dont find the gold anymore, and "one of those days" comes :buck2:

bryan 25th August 2008 3:52 am

is that one person's drama is another person's discussion.

what you see as drama in many cultures is perceived as being human and expressing oneself.

i've seen americans my whole life. they avoid drama. they avoid anger. they avoid sadness. then what happens is it builds up and they blow up. all the stuff they've bottled up comes out all at once.

so i'd be careful labeling people being honest about their feelings and expressing it as being a drama.

better that then another human drone with a bid EGO pretending to being something they're not.

i've met people like you before....probably you've read Tolle and all the "experts" and you try and perfect yourself. am i right? you are afraid people will find out who the real you is and you hide yourself. that's why you point and say drama. but isn't being a perfect human an oxymoron. why don't you instead of pointing fingers and saying "DRAMA" live your life and stop trying to be mr. perfect. LOL!

bryan 25th August 2008 4:01 am

i understand you but since hans and i have these symptoms we have no desires anymore in this illusion. it may sound strange to you but it has been a gradual decrease in our interest in the things in this illusion.

i can honestly say i could leave this illusion tomorrow and not miss it. everything changed with the symptoms (especially the "head stuff"). i can honestly tell you hans and i have no interest in anything in this illusionary reality.

i would say the least offensive thing we find in this illusion are animals and nature. but to live amongst animals and nature requires money which has changed since our symptoms started.

Mariù 25th August 2008 4:39 am

I can understand your point, can be so difficult at times right?

But you don't have to have many interests bryan, a few are more than enough. You always talk about hans, so you have an interest on him and then you said you like animals and nature, I think that is a good mix!

The wonderful company of your partner and nature/animals. Concentrate on that only and do all you can to achieve a life style that allows you to be with hans in nature all the time! I understand the lack of money can be a problem but if you like a simple life you wont need that much or you could find people willing to exchange services and stuff... How does it sound?

If you leave this reality you might miss the chance to find out more about your experience/existence in this illusion/life? I bet there is still cool stuff you could discover and then come to share...

bryan 25th August 2008 5:04 am

hi mariu,

hans and i have been trying to get the financial resources to get a place close to nature.

problem is the monetary issue never goes away.

and the symptoms get stronger and stronger we feel more separation from this illusion.

take for example food which i used to love. i go into the store and almost cry because i can't find anything i want to eat. i used to love european cheese and other stuff but our taste buds have changed and i find most food disgusting now.

it's as though the symptoms of the illusionary ascension lead to a huge detachment and disinterest in this illusion. it must be for a reason.

we've been trying to live close to nature but the damn money aspect of this primitive illusion sucks shit.

you know what i really love since i've gotten this symptoms...i love children and dogs...i feel like we're on the same level...well anyways...gotta make myself ready for my morning walk before the florida heat starts...

thanks for your posts mariu!

Ben 25th August 2008 5:25 am

I've been reading this thread with interest, and have enjoyed seeing all the wonderful discoveries found in the mud. I do agree with what Mariu says here about focusing on the good things and ignoring the rest.

If you asked me my general opinion on TV for instance, I would probably say it sucks - and I can't stand watching the news and many other programmes. I could start writing letters of complaint to the broadcasting companies, or post on some forums - but would that get me anywhere? Instead, I have found that there are a few programmes I do like, so I just watch those.

Interestingly, one programme I really enjoyed recently was called 'Faking It', it is a show which takes someone from one end of a social spectrum or career path, and then intensively trains them physically, mentally and most important psychologically to try to fake it and appear to be authentic at something completely different to what they are used to.

Examples include, house painter to artist, posh private school boy to inner city nightclub doorman, vicar to used car salesman and burger flipper to head chef.

It really does reveal how much of how we are is based on what we believe we are, most of the fakers ended up doing a very good job of hiding their inexperience but always the main issue was about needing to believe that they could do it - they had to fully get into their fake illusion.

The really interesting thing was by the end they were different people, most won't use the skills they learnt but many discovered a whole new side of themselves that they hadn't had the courage to express before.

For instance the painter discovered he was actually very good with art and also that people valued his creations. It opened up a whole new path for him to discover.

Mariù 25th August 2008 5:33 am

You added another cool interest: children! They are the best! They can inspire you, challenge you, uplift you and they don't fake! When you are around them all is different and I suspect they know how to function well in the illusion before we start training them differently and towards feeling unworthy. By the way, this can give you good hints, there is lots of great potential in the interests you have, actually you have the best you could ever have. What's better than kids, nature and animals?

About the food, don't worry! I think you are not the only one with this new situation. I'm going through that too, it's not extreme but definitely I really have to feel what my body wants before I eat, sometimes doesn't come as clear as before and things I used to pick they are "bad" now.

Has been cool though, I'm discovering different mix of foods and I really have to listen to my body, because when I try to be as I used to it's running to the toilet, my body gets it out of the system very quickly! :embarrassed: :buck2:

Have a nice walk!

bryan 25th August 2008 5:37 am

but i have to say these symptoms hans and i have are so debilitating we lie around most of the day.

i've done odd and end jobs...like i mow the lawn every 2 weeks...you know what happens..it takes about an hour...anyways...i mow the lawn and then come in the house so extremely exhausted from doing something simple like that...i drink water (i drink gallons a day) and boom i'm running to the toilet the next couple of hours with diarrhea. just mowing the lawn for 1 hour puts me out the next day. it freakin sucks. like i said these symptoms hans and i get are extremely debilitating so to even do anything is a major chore.

and i have to repeat that the "head stuff" we have has lead to an almost complete detachment from this illusion so the idea of being interested in anything let alone faking it leads nowhere. our roommate had us doing painting over the last year...i could take it or leave it...i don't know..

i'm just telling you honestly what i believe hans and i need is a Club Med vacation permanently with people waiting on us and living near nature.

bryan 25th August 2008 5:42 am

even the little painting we did with our roommate was exhausting...

like i said...hans and i right now are focusing on just getting distance from people which involves money...not only distance from humans but somewhere close to nature where we don't need to exhert ourselves.

i don't know if you are getting symptoms but they are freakin debilitating..like i said...take for instance this morning...it may be graphic but i wake up and i have my water and little coffee...i wake up extremely exhausted...i then get the "stomach sounds" in my heart area and gee what a surprise...diarrhea again...such a pleasure everyday...just now i'm about to go for my 3rd crap of the morning and i can tell you it's diarrhea again...oh yeah...i forgot...karen bishop says the symptoms have stopped for now..wrong again!

like i said...if i didn't know what was going on i'd be in the hospital hooked up and getting waited on hand and foot...problem is with this illusionary ascension..the money goes at the same time as nasty symptoms...lovely illusion!

bryan 25th August 2008 5:49 am

you are so positive and i'm so fed up...what a mix...LOL!

i know you're trying but i'm afraid i've had it...it's sweet of you and ben to try and help but i'm not sure if hans and i can handle this much longer...it's too much...all of it...i would be content just having a place near nature (just hans and i) with noone around to annoy us...and i'd really like for these nasty symptoms to go away...i've had them for over 3 years (the really nasty ones).

you know what i had in vancouver in 2005...want to talk nasty...one night i was up the whole night detoxing...i had burning diarrhea the whole night...it didn't stop...that was the beginning of the nasty symptoms...

sorry but we're so fed up we're beyond help i'm afraid..like i said..i really need rest, nature and to do that we need money...oops...sorry...illusionary ascension symptoms..no more worthless federal reserve notes (dollars)

Mariù 25th August 2008 5:57 am

Ok ok, I wasn't really trying to change you or convince you, just sharing my experience too :coolsmiley:

Can I wish you to find that place soon though? Hope so! :roll:

See you to the next Karen's message, I have the feeling she is going to get your goat again! :crazy2:

bryan 25th August 2008 6:07 am

Ok ok, I wasn't really trying to change you or convince you, just sharing my experience too :coolsmiley
Can I wish you to find that place soon though? Hope so! :roll:
See you to the next Karen's message, I have the feeling she is going to get your goat again! :crazy2

though i have to say she gets the symptoms correct.

she just needs to "can it" on her "extrapolations" because let's face it she doesn't have any special abilities to KNOW what going on. just like the rest of us "in the dark"

i hope you're right that hans and i find that place soon...i'm fully willing to stay in this illusion to see what happens if anything positive happens but damn i could do without these symptoms and i could do with a bit of comfort and some money to get near nature..

thanks mariu for listening to my complaining...love, bryan

Ben 25th August 2008 6:14 am

I share the feeling that faking it to be someone else completely isn't something that appeals to me.

However the value I did get from watching it was seeing them close the gap to what seemed like an impossible target. Most of the teachers were very good and really took them through it step by step - focusing on the little things first and gradually getting them to start believing they could do it. At times they got a bit overwhelmed with the task, but then sometimes just a little success would trigger them back into being hopeful.

I could relate this to my own life, i'm pretty happy with how things are but there are still many gaps that I have to close. There are always things, even in the good times, that we desire that can seem so far off. I'm sure you know the theory about taking the next logical step, but actually seeing it in action was a useful thing for me.

aKuna Kumara 25th August 2008 11:53 am

p2 #22 B said" i said without illusion there is nothingness for us. only our consciousness.
you want a god. you want something you can cling onto like energy or maybe being a
lightworker." "AKuna you are so representative of most new agers. they are control
freaks who want to censor people's communications. you would make the New World
Order crowd proud. aKuna wants purpose and fluff and love or she will wither and
I am not your enemy. Your so ready to argue you heard nothing said - I'm not a Lworker
a new ager, don't adhere to belief systems of any order. I'm not disagreeing with what
you say - I'm expressing "how I perceive it compared to you". HEAR ME>I speak of the same
Consciousness you do, but view it as Allness= not Nothingness. ""We are saying/seeing
the same - perceiving it different and experience it different.""
What I dislike is insulting others from personal judgment because they think act or are
different from us. It's not necessary to get our point across.

aKuna Kumara 25th August 2008 12:06 pm

"Read my Blog or Web which is over 4yrs old ,it's toned down so others in-bedded in the
illusion can begin to grasp the concept. I've been saying this for more than 40 years, and
have experienced your head stuff, have been stepping out of the illusion even longer.
45 years ago moved to the woods to live outside illusion without completely detaching
from the physical focus. I feel the symptoms you describe but do not experience them as I
can live outside the collective illusion.We are consciousness (consciousness acts/reacts or it
is nothingness, this is why I say it's Allness not nothingness, because if it were nothing it
could/would not produce this illusion) This is how I perceive it! IT works for me.
Lworkers are aware of this (to a point) but hide it behind stories because they are not
ready to let go of the idea of the illusion. 'They are not weak' they are simply not ready.
They believe this as an ideal, but don't live the idea as reality! Either do you or you wouldn't be having symptoms and financial distress.


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