Why is She/He Still in My Life?

Dear Ones,

You are fearful that those you love are not shifting with you, that you need to leave them behind. We have told you on several occasions that those you were close to in 3D may not be an important part of your new earth life. Many of you have used that thought to place a barrier between yourself and those you connect with so when the parting occurs you will not feel pain.

You have misunderstood the intent of that message. There are many who are no longer in your sphere of close contacts. Perhaps you talk with or even interact with them often, but when you think of connections of the heart, they are no longer part of that group. They are more acquaintances than close to your heart.

Now that you are deeper into your new earth/new life, it is highly unlikely you will find a need to remove many more, if any, people from your heart. During the beginning stages of this transition, you were probably surrounded by those who were a convenience or should. For instance, perhaps your work environment required you to interact with someone filled with fear. But as you moved deeper into this transition, those people shifted or, in a sense, disappeared from your life. Even though you might have contact with them – it is minimal and certainly not heart-centered.

Those remaining in your heart are Lightworkers who have not yet switched on their light or are on a different path. You could not have completed the shifts of the past few months if entities maintaining their Old Age beings and lifestyles were deeply in your heart. The Old Age and new earth are too dissimilar for you to interact heart to heart with someone who remains solidly of the Old Age.

Your task of moving into the new earth was extremely difficult as you cleansed yourself of Old Age beliefs, actions and thoughts. You did and do not have additional energy to fend off the fear and anger of Old Age personalities who do not wish to shift.

This does not mean you will not learn or read about Old Age entities continuing their Old Age antics. But instead, that you do not need to cut them from your heart – you already completed that phase with those you were in direct contact with. They are no longer an important part of your heart – other than in general humanity terms.

Spouses, friends, co-workers, significant others, neighbors and family who remain part of your being/your heart, in whatever fashion, are Lightworkers waiting to turn on their light or on a different path.

Perhaps part of their role is to play devil’s advocate as you make your transition. They do not necessarily believe all or even most of what you believe, but somehow you cannot let them go. You sense something, somewhere within them – and you – that encourages you to remain steadfast in your beliefs that they too are part of the new earth – just at a different stage or place

How you can know this – for at times, they make you uncomfortable?

You cannot understand why they do not wish to know more about new earth – or you – as you make your transition. They seem disinterested and yet – you find them an important part of your heart. Not in the general terms of “all are one,” but in specific relationship terms that seem to be at odds with what you believe.

Perhaps you two argue. Perhaps not. You just know deep within you that you cannot remove that relationship from your being. Nor do you want to – despite all indicators that you should. Such is true because they are indeed Lightworkers taking a much different path than you.

Even now – with all the information to the contrary relayed by many channels – you believe your path is the one true path. Perhaps you meditate, visualize, channel, only allow certain foods in your body or whatever. And those you think should be removed from your being, but continue to be part of it despite your wonderment that such is so, are not at all interested in your path. Perhaps the two of you connect spiritually at times, but for the most part, this relationship seems like blending oil and water.

This relationship is water and water – only perhaps blue water and red water. It is of the heart – just different parts of the heart. Why do you continue this relationship? The answer is quite logical.

To fully understand that “all are one,” you requested a helpmate unlike you in terms of the path they are traveling. They are moving as rapidly as you, only they do not display the same indicators along the way. They have different markers and paths. You will end-up together at some point, just not now. As you open your belief systems to alternate methods of claiming new earth, you will understand the beauty of your decision to select a mate, friend, co-worker, neighbor, significant other or relative who opted for a different path.

The only requirement to step upon a new earth path is an open heart. Those you continue to interact with have an open heart – despite so many indicators to YOU that they are not on a path. They are yet another stage of your clearing. They are with you to help you broaden your beliefs and skills. Patience is required as they (you think) flounder about the new earth. You (you think) have the direct path and you are in wonderment that they are not at all interested in your path.

This is a lesson in love. Not love within the limits and shoulds of the Old Age, but love in new earth terms. All have the freedom to be for all are moving to the same place on different paths. You elected to be with someone who broadens your new earth horizons. And they are doing so – much to your consternation. So be it. Amen.


Peter fox 9th October 2013 3:57 am

Great message, Brenda, and so spot on. Complex or what? If my wife (of
30 years) got to find out I was even posting this message she would
divorce me. YET our relationship is tangibly growing stronger each day!
The sheer wonderment of all this is just that - sheer wonderment!

Tiff 9th October 2013 6:35 am

This resonates deeply with me now.

This is not easy work, but the small miracle outcomes accumulated lets me know why it's all worth it.

Thank you, Brenda :smitten:

Leonardo Mancilla 9th October 2013 8:27 am

Thanks so much Brenda!

This is a much needed message for so many of us.

I got early this morning asking myself: What I am going to do about this situation? I live with my wife, my 29 years daughter and my 15 years son.

Now, I have the answer.

Many blessings!

Brenda Hoffman 9th October 2013 8:40 am

Hi Peter,
Isn't it amazing? My husband has a science background and doesn't read/listen to my channels. And yet, like you there's a connection. This transition is absolutely sheer wonderment!How all the various pieces fall together into one totality of change.
Blessings, Love and Hugs,
PS I promise not to tell your wife!!!!!!!!!!!!

queens4freedom 9th October 2013 8:42 am


Brenda Hoffman 9th October 2013 8:44 am

Hi Tiff,
I wonder if future generations will tell stories like we do now "My grandparents had to walk ten miles in the snow with no shoes to school everyday" only it will be, "Do you realize they only communicated with words and a few sensory experiences? How difficult their life was."

The amazing piece to me and probably most of us is that we're doing it - exploring, recognizing, accepting and growing - without a users' manual.

Blessings, Hugs and Love,

Brenda Hoffman 9th October 2013 8:48 am

Dear Leonardo,
As is often the case, it felt as if this week's channel was for me alone.

My husband is not at all interested in new earth philosophies or techniques - yet he is so kind and has such a big heart.

My path isn't the only one - as my husband displays everyday.

And so it is for many of us!
Blessings, Love and Hugs,

Brenda Hoffman 9th October 2013 8:51 am

Hi Queens4Freedom,
And so it is - freedom to be you and me and him and her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Blessings and Love,

keryndawer 9th October 2013 9:32 am

Thank you so much Brenda. This really helped me get a handle on the the people/relationships in my life. My greatest challenge is my mother who I care for. I love her dearly but she is very Old Age, very negative and constantly worrying. It is so hard for me not to get down or depressed after being with her. I know that all her Old Age ways have helped me to be who I am and have helped bring me to this point on my path, but it is still a challenge to remain positive and light after our interactions.

YOU are always a joyous beam of Light snd Wisdom. Thank you. :)

Truly and with Love,
Keryn xoxo

happyodg 9th October 2013 10:07 am

thank you Brenda!
I thought in my heart after 52 years that I found the love of my life. He has so much to teach me and lessons that I must learn. Lately all I can think is "he is on such a different frequency and path that I am on.how can it work?" I am such an emotional person, and he is analytical,and emotional unavailable at times. After a year together a future has been talked about and laid out with specific plans and so many wonderful adventures to be had together. He does not embrace my lightworker path~yet I have seen his huge heart shining through when he allows it.
Last night he came to me and with determination in his mind he stated he was unable to be in the intimate relationship I want and give me what I needed. Absolutely devastated and shattered i begged (not my style, to give me/us a chance to let time teach me (and him I hope) the lesson to be able to grant him more space and for me to let go of my 3D old patterns of abandonment and fears of being alone.
You have given me hope that we both can be on the path together,yet in separate ways.LOVE AND GRATITUDE! KATY

Brenda Hoffman 9th October 2013 10:51 am

Hi Keryn,
I know. I didn't even know I was asking "Why Are She/He Still in My Life?" until I started channeling. By the reaction of so many to this week's channel, you're not alone.

We're getting there - it just seems as if it would be easier if everyone supported us - but then, think of puberty and the ins and outs of friendship then. I don't think there's another time in Old Age life that is as emotionally trying in terms of relationships - including menopause!
Blessings, Hugs and Love,

Brenda Hoffman 9th October 2013 10:57 am

Dear Katy,
I am so sorry. What you are feeling right now is so painful.

We're shifting and opening but it just doesn't seem fast enough at times does it?

I'm sending good thoughts that all will work out well for both of you.
Blessings, Love and Hugs,

Deeni 9th October 2013 10:58 am

Thank You, Brenda.

A fabulous message.

You know, I have been married to my husband 20 years now, and we have been together for 25. There have been many times on my path to Ascension that I was concerned that our marriage would have to end, not because I wanted it to, but because of my spirituality and beliefs. I felt I couldn't share any of it with him, and that we may be growing apart.

I was afraid I was leaving him behind.

But lately, it would appear he has been waiting for me to catch up . . .

Funny. Just when you think you know someone . . .

Much Love and Light to All. : ))

Brenda Hoffman 9th October 2013 11:12 am

Hi Deeni,
Just when you think you know someone indeed! Whenever I "check in" about my husband, I hear the same - my husband is either at a similar place or ahead of me.

Shoot. Not fair. Future scientists always "kicked butt" in college science courses too!
Blessings, Love and Hugs,

laulee 9th October 2013 12:57 pm

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this timely message! I have struggled so in the last few years about my marriage and how my husband has chosen to walk a different path than mine, his with a much more destructive lifestyle than what I am willing to accept. But, our relationship has taught me more about the meaning of love I never would have thought possible! I am forever grateful for the moments and demonstrations of unconditional love.

After reading this, I wish to acknowledge my intuition that has been whispering to me, "You don't need to leave this person! His ministry to those who need love the most is God's work. Quit trying to control his behavior to match what you think should be happening." Brenda, your article affirmed my intuition.

This afternoon, after two months of separation and numerous words of hurt and anger, we are meeting to discuss things and work out an agreement. Thank you, God, for helping to see that I can approach our relationship needs filled with love, grace, and acceptance.

Brenda Hoffman 9th October 2013 1:44 pm

Dear Laulee,
What a wonderfully loving message! Thank you.
Love Brenda

Val1311 9th October 2013 3:45 pm

Hi! What if you are in a destructive relationship with someone who doesn't love, understand or respect you at all but don't have the financial means to get out? Why would we be stuck in a relationship like this?

Brenda Hoffman 9th October 2013 4:20 pm

Hi Val,
I don't know. Have you tried asking yourself? I know it's so difficult to get any information when you're not in a good place.

Maybe it is time for you to leave.

Does you feel relieved when you think about leaving? If so, are there resources you can tap into - including you creating a safe haven for yourself and any children????

Please do what's right for you. No one can or should set your boundaries, rules or lifestyle. Do what gives you joy.

This week's channel was for those not understanding why they didn't feel the emotional need to leave despite indicators in the 3D world that they probably should. The tone of your message appears as if you might be in a different place.

Listen to your heart - and do what's right for you.
Blessings, Hugs and Love,

Emma852013 10th October 2013 4:08 am

Thank you Thank you!
THIS message is what Ive been praying for crying for with my heart and soul.
I am in a wonderful relationship and he has stuck by my side and is opening his heart more and more, in spite of what others (around and above me) has told me. Even though at times I feel a great distance between us I know it is partly d to my own processes that demand quite some time and energy and partly due to me shutting down when I have doubted that he is "the one". But as consciousness expands in both of us "the one" concept is evolving. And the ego looses its demand of perfection. At a soul level we recognized each other instantly from the start, and even though I sense that Ive been travelling this spiritual road longer, I feel that he is contributing alot to my journey. This time of expansion as I like to call it has made him change tremendously and I now take comfort in that "all is Well". I do not control destiny, or who I will spend the rest of my life with, and this I now willingly accept (which I havent been able to before) This is the way to love. Love to d world :D/emma

Brenda Hoffman 10th October 2013 12:04 pm

Dear D/emma,
Thank you!!! Your joy and love radiate from your message. Dare to be you....and so you are! YAY!!!!
Blessings, Love and Hugs,

Sunbeam 10th October 2013 1:56 pm

Thank you for this. I found it very helpful xx

Brenda Hoffman 10th October 2013 4:05 pm

Hi SunBeam (love your name!),
Thank you! Sharing my channels with others is one of my great joys.
Blessings, Hugs and Sparkles,

peggysharon 13th October 2013 10:15 am

Wow! Ok. But if all I want to do right now is be alone, what happens? Will we get back together? When the timing is right? Everything was good except suddenly it all felt so "Off". I "needed" to be alone. So, is it over for good? Or coming back later? Well, I give it up to the universe and follow my gut in each present moment ..it's all I can do.

peggysharon 13th October 2013 10:21 am

I just saw your comment about feeling "relief". I felt relief when we parted. It makes no sense because he is a gentle , kind person. I suppose I didn't feel like I could do all that I needed to do. Will follow inner guidance ...
I thought that if we lived together or married, we would be together and I could use my time to do what I needed to do. He was not moving nor marrying. So, I had to end it.
thank-you! xoxo

Brenda Hoffman 13th October 2013 11:47 am

Dear Peggy,
Kudos for daring to see beyond what you thought was the right move because he was so kind and gentle.

Isn't it amazing how we do feel relief when we've escaped something that looks so right on the outside, but is so wrong for our inner-being, for us?

Again, kudos for daring to be you.
Blessings, Hugs and Love,

kitegirlcoach 13th October 2013 8:39 pm

Such a good message. Segregating yourself from others because you consider them "Old World" or "Old Age" is judgement. It is not a part of the new way of being. We as a species are all moving together. Far more connected than we realise. Some will move faster than others but see the potential in those further behind and know they are moving in the same direction as you.

Brenda Hoffman 13th October 2013 9:29 pm

Hi KiteGirlCoach!
YAY! Just be - whoever we are and let others do the same. And now that we're claiming our inner power, we can move away or shift perceptions about those who are in a different place than us. Granted, sometimes our 3D beings get caught up in the drama - but less and less and for shorter periods of time. We are evolving individually and en mass. YAY for our evolution - faster than we thought and sometimes much slower than we want.
Blessings, Love and Sparkles,

jackiebabyca 16th October 2013 9:49 am

Dear Brenda,

Thank you so much for this message. This is what I needed to hear. I feel much better about my marriage now, You have opened my heart to accepting the fact that we are both on our own separate paths and that I am to respect that. I was so concerned that we would have to separate. My husband has a big heart but doesn't know how to express his feelings, good and bad. I will now be more patient with his growth as well as mine. Your messages are such a blessing. Kim


Keep updated with Spirit Library

Author Information

Brenda Hoffman

An intuitive since birth, Brenda formalized her channeling skills with her internationally noted book, A Glimpse of Your Future. This prophetic classic describes your role in this transition, as well as answers questions such as why baby boomers were instrumental in introducing the New Age and what earth will be like in the year 4000.

Books from Brenda Hoffman


Brenda Hoffman Archives