Why Being Nice Isn’t Always Good

You probably consider yourself a nice person. You also might wonder when all your good energy is going to help you create a better life. My clients tend to be extremely nice people, and often wind up with unhappy relationships, not enough money, and feeling stressed out because they’re doing so much for everyone else.

It seems reasonable that if you are nice to others, people will be nice to you in return. After all, isn’t it good karma to be nice to people? Good karma should come back to you, right? The answer is yes good karma will come back to you, however being nice isn’t always good karma!

Oftentimes, we think we are doing the “right” thing by automatically forgiving someone who has wronged us, or by turning the other cheek to people who are treating us poorly and allowing them to dump their negative energy on us. One interpretation of “turning the other cheek” that might be beneficial is not taking another person’s actions personally when they act poorly towards you, therefore not engaging in the drama. So instead of taking on a person’s negativity and being “nice” about it, you can choose to view their negativity as a reflection of themselves rather than you, view that person with compassion, and disengage from that dynamic by choosing self-respect and self-care. Try that and see how that works for you!

If you think of all relationships of having a measure of energy, what is given and received, when we are in a reciprocal energy exchange those scales of karma are balanced. Yet, sometimes when we are being “nice” instead of standing up for ourselves, or asserting our right to be treated better, or walking away from people who mistreat us, then we can be tipping those karmic scales. We will keep attracting situations towards us to help us correct that balance until it is righted. You might want to look at any uncomfortable situation in your life that you seem to attract over and over again, and see if there is a lesson there about reciprocal energy exchange. You can evaluate whether you are giving too much or too little in that circumstance relative to the outcome, and make appropriate adjustments.

Too, if you are one of these people who tries to be “good” all the time and do the right thing, you might want to examine how that plays out in your relationships. Examine whether you are in reciprocal relationships, or if there is stuck pattern that needs to be rectified.

You might also want to look at the balance within yourself – do you have a balance of work and play? Alone time with socializing? Giving and receiving?

Instead of thinking about whether or not you are being nice to people, ask if you are being honest with yourself. Being truthful and direct with your feelings (especially with yourself) is the best way to bring harmony and balance into your life. Now that’s nice!



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Kari Samuels

Kari Samuels is an Intuitive Counselor, Numerologist, and Happiness Coach. If there is an area in your life that needs more joy, Kari can shed light on dark places and lift your spirits with remarkable insight.


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