Losing Hope: the final attachment

Remember in the last update when I said...."if we can walk through this VERY narrow doorway, fully present and completely void of an agenda, we will experience a major shift on many levels"?

Well, not that I need to tell you, but we are still trying to squeeze our full-bodied selves through that very small opening.  And our success rate...or the ease by which it happens... has everything to do with the "completely void of an agenda" part.

Truth is, most of us want through that doorway so badly that we are trying  e v e r y t h i n g  we can think of to bust down that door and get the hell out of Dodge.

We're being forced through sheer frustration to find our way out of this paradoxical box we've locked ourselves into...forced into surrendering to a new way of seeing and doing things, to accessing and using a whole new set of tools in an entirely new realm of human experience.

Trying and Prying

The last few weeks...but days especially...feelings of hopelessness and desperation abound.  We have been frantically trying to access this portal to our new lives, scraping our nails against the grain, in search of even the tiniest clutch hold that will offer us the ability to pry that door ajar.

Each time we find a groove deep enough to leverage the door's heavy mass, we loose our grip, the door slams shut and we fall back into our old ways, into those old energies that we are fighting to be free of. 

Our physical bodies still screaming..."UNCLLLLLLE!"...bucking in complete defiance of integrating another ounce of light or pushing our way through one more day without resolve.

But even through all this resistance we are facing, we are being told that there is, in fact, a door here...and that there IS a way through it...and at the risk of reusing some played-out platitudes...we just can't force it open with our hands, we can only will it open with our hearts.

Moving forward through this "active death zone" requires that we release all mental and emotional resistance to it....that we settle fully and completely into the present discomfort so that we can feel our way to the other side.  It's almost as if this doorway exists only for those who don't want it...but more appropriately, this doorway exists only for those who don't "need" it.

Which brings us back to the age-old anomaly....how do we NOT want something that we so desperately want?

And the answer is always the same...we have to release attachment to our desires...to let go by surrendering into complete acceptance of what-is.  It's not as if we will lose our heart-felt desires on the other side, its that they must be unplugged, upgraded, rewired, fine-tuned and completely free of human attachment.

Digging Deep

The Arcturians are telling me that..."there was a time when each of you were guided to the space of no space when you would more effortlessly release yourself from bondage.  But now, in the final hours and through feeling the building desperation of wanting so badly to move forward, you are unable to find and settle into that same sense of relief."

Gee, you think???  Now granted, I am just as guilty of this as the average idiot who agreed to this half-baked journey...wait, did we agree to this?...but somehow, by some obnoxious force greater than our own, we still. can't. give. up.   We HAVE to remember...now more than ever...that beneath the death-like fatigue and disconnection, we still have the power within us to push through these gateways... only its so easy to lose sight of this in the mounting frustration of our relentless stuck-in-the-mudness.

And if that weren't a tall enough order, we must also realize that this frustration also has its divine purpose...it is the building momentum of sheer desire for something better that is accumulating like the pressure of a combustion engine applying irrational force to our refurbished pistons so we can be catapulted forward into our new lives.

So even though we are far beyond exhausted and weary...we are still being urged to remember that there is always a way to peace...but to access this space requires a shift in perspective... a release...a surrendering...and a letting go of unparalleled proportion.

Losing Hope

I recently mentioned that this letting go process was very similar to physical death in that we must first release all emotional attachments to get to the other side where love will abound in greater measure.

It's our nature to hold on...but just as with all endings, the desire to hold on eventually begins to wane and we are left facing the uncertainty of "what's next?"

Right now we are at the stage of releasing the deepest layers of human attachment, and that includes the desire to hold on any longer as well as our long-time companion...HOPE.  From a higher perspective, hope is really just resistance in disguise.  It's a candy-coated expression of doubt, discomfort with uncertainty, dissatisfaction with what-is, and an inability to surrender into full presence.  

Because we are stepping so fully into our authentic selves, we are losing our strength and ability to hold onto to anything...and hope is the last to go.   Contrary to Forrest Whittaker's vision in 1998...hope-doesn't-float here.  In fact, it will sink us if we try to hold on.

So don't be alarmed or confused if you can't muster up the energy to be-lie-ve in the outcome of this journey anymore...your not supposed to.   We literally can't take hope with us because it's too dense.

Essentially, hope is a derivative of lack...of not-having, but wanting...of incompleteness...and it simply cannot be upheld in the higher frequencies of wholeness.  Where we are going, hope is transformed into knowing and peace comes with presence when we are in full acceptance of what is, without wanting anything to be different.  This is the ultimate state of surrender, and the one that is required to pass go.

Instead of hoping or wanting things to be different at this point, we need to take the opposite approach...we need to whole-heart-edly surrender ourselves so fully into the discomfort of uncertainty that we emerge on the other side with visceral knowing...assured of our mastery, and the ability to uphold it.

All illusions/delusions, hopes, dreams, expectations, etc....anything that we have fabricated in our minds or used as fuel...or carrots!...to keep us going, or propel us this far, must now be cut loose in order to fit through that doorway.  And just to be clear here...that doorway is built on the threshold of both endings AND beginnings...when we come full circle, the end of the old is just the beginning of the new...which is why they happen simultaneously.

When in doubt, remember that it's the faithful, not the hopeful, who will rise with the new sun.

And keep in mind that it is not as if we cannot have, manifest or achieve our heartfelt desires that are burned within our galactic-genetic blueprints, its that each doorway is getting smaller and smaller, and to make it through each one we have to leave behind more and more...to let go of what we perceive we need in order to be authentic and true...where we truly experience with every fiber of our being that we already have it all.

We are officially breaking through the most putrefied layers of sediment that exist at the deepest layers of our being.   We are becoming completely empty (neutral) vessels so that the light of our divinity can fill in every nook and cranny of our deeply excavated personas.

This deep letting go is bewildering to experience, and it takes us through the most obscene challenges in facing our mis-creations and limitations. You may be thinking to yourself...what could we possibly have left to let go of...and just in that moment, we are faced with the realization that we are still holding on to the frustration of letting go!  Yes, mastery is a mockery.

Physical Happenings

Everything hurts.

(For more detailed symptoms and information check out the TWYH forum.)

The Plunge

The physical proof of our galactic and earthly achievements is coming to a head, ready to burst open like the deluge of Noah and flood our vastly empty lives.  And though we may feel incapable to be-lie-ve that truth any longer, the unseens are saying... "let go of that too!"

For those of you out there hanging on by that splitting thread...time to take the plunge!  There is very literally nothing left to hold onto, and for good reason...because there is nothing on this side that we can take to the other...the only thing that remains is our trust in that still quiet voice within...the voice that is pushing us through despite all the resistance and frustrations that we are up against.

It's very easy to understand how letting go of the last thread can be a very freeing experience, but actually doing it...peeling our fingers from the only things we have left to hold onto...to be-lie-ve in...to hope for...is a whole other ball game. 

Rest assured, we are doing it whether we want to or not.  It may not be pretty...it may not be fun... but somehow, someway, we are getting through that damn door!

The Key

This expansion process very naturally forces us to outgrow our past...to the point that nothing here feels remotely good or interesting, and boredom overtakes us as we waddle around in the void, waiting for our new level of reconnection to take hold.  We are so bored here that even boredom is boring.

And if you're anything like me then you are especially bored with the entire process and have absolutely hit your limit with all this damn ascension talk, talk, talk.  Personally, I can't even look at the word any more without wanting to bludgeon myself with a blunt object.  Some mornings I wake up and think, there is just NOTHING left to say...we can't possibly talk ourselves through one...more...day....of...this.  And of course, then we do.

This is because we have explored all territory here and are moving on...oh god please...to a place where we will have new interests, or revised existing interests, that will finally have fertile soil to replace the once barren land that disabled the growth of our higher dimensional dreams.  In our new gardens, however, our intentions will easily take root because the proper balance of nutrients are contained within the soil to sustain and nourish them.

From mid-August to early September we will continue to assimilate this huge expansion that is propelling us out of our old lives...albeit with a bit more connection... and into a the new framework by which we will operate.  You may find that sudden endings are immediately replaced with new beginnings and that much of it is happening with or without your involvement.  This as it should be as.

I am hearing that for the next few weeks we will be intermittently accessing new realms.  Kind of like newborn souls trying to ground in the lower dimensions during the beginning stages of incarnation...and of course sleeping like them too...one day we may make it through to the other side, and the next we may be prohibited from entering...but each time we are successful, we will begin to intimately understand our ability to create without resistance, and to realize that this is exactly how it was always meant to be.

So each time you experience suffering, remember that all suffering is resistance to what-is. 

There is only one combination to the lock on that door we are all trying to fit through:  surrender-acceptance-acceptance-let go 

Each time you reach down and find the ability to embrace the uncertainty, to welcome the discomfort...

Right, left, left, right, CLICK... 

...your in!

To free falling...



mudskipper 17th August 2010 5:14 am

Thank you Lauren for your blessed persistence in not losing your sense of humour throughout and for inspiring me to remember mine! I've been seeing the doors opening a chink for a long time, watching the light in the gap and knowing if I get my fingers in there they'll be jammed like breasts in a mammogram.
Every time I read your posts there's a "Yes! Yes! Yes!" response, so grateful.
Every blessing to you.

normanFoL 17th August 2010 8:20 am

WOW!!! this is crazy...i just got initiated last night...this is insain i have been feelin pulses of energy running through my body the past few weeks and no idea what it was..i got on my comp last night and went to internet explorer and it brought me straight to this sight..and WOW did that meditation really gettin the impulses moving through my hole body..it was like i was plugged into a power serge..this is amazing...and this post is exactly how i felt right after..i have an amazing pulse running through my body right now this is amazing
blessing to all

appleblossom 17th August 2010 8:22 am

We are so blessed to receive today's message. How could it be that I have felt exactly as you related? Your humor was uplifting but was the perfect truth as well...kicking, screaming UNNNCLE.

Laura Bruce 17th August 2010 8:24 am

It's so great to be re-minded of what's important when you get up wondering how your going to deal with this day after yesterday sucked so bad. At least some of the disgust and lethargy have lifted. It's very comforting to know that Angels are everywhere working to maintain perspective and lift us when we need it most.
Red a piece last week on Jumping Time-lines from Tom Kenyon that rocked me and am focusing on that concept. My mood is way beyond boredom with this world and maintaining perspective on desired reality and contrived reality is quite the challenge. I get the candy-coated hope thing - beautiful analogy. Perspective and perserverence are major tools - and to keep summoning the Love.
Thanks for your amazing words. You are one of the few that I read consistantly. Think I'll go check out your web site. Thanks for keepin' the faith, Sista! Laura!

Rhiannon 17th August 2010 8:57 am

Dear, dear Lauren, You were my hope for today... that you would have a post explaining exactly what your message was about, wehuuu, THANK-YOU!!! :smitten:

Doughnut 17th August 2010 9:14 am

Hi Lauren :) Am wondering how I can understand all this stuff you write when I'm obviously not as smart or articulate as your regular visitors. Anyhow I always initially feel some relief when I read your posts... before getting paranoid that I've missed the bus so to speak. I wanted to say thanku and wish you some love even though it doesn't seem enough. Thanku to all who support your support for us too. OneLoveOneHeart. John. P.S On yr spirit Library home page thing under 'Website' heading...
'Conscious Co-Creational What!!! Couching !!! That sounds like fun :) better than all that coaching I'll bet :) xx

splat 17th August 2010 9:34 am

Oh yes, incredibly bored. Seen it, done that, just want to EAT. "Waddle in the void" indeed.

Tzaddi 17th August 2010 10:06 am

Thank you, Lauren! Frustrated by my do-nothingness in a rare "fortunate year"(astrology speaking), the heaviness of our extraordinary monsoon season had me pinned to the floor, gasping, moving to the final count. But today's email brought 2 gifts: TUT's cheerful note: "If you don't know (what you want) commit to nothing." Yippee: an extension! And your lovely post assures me that my "hanging out in free-fall" is perfectly acceptable at this time. Fortunately for me, an intense navel-lint-gatherer, I have already been down the road of absolute surrender before-- 20 years ago. And I generally live the concept of "witnessing," simply observing what IS without responding. And even having those tools did not prevent my ever-present judgmental ego-mind from vilifying me re' my lack of doing in this "fortunate year." I don't care, because my favorite scene in Avatar is the "free-fall" when the native simply swan-dives from the tallest limbs into open space and the amazed Avatar follows... I am so happy to be here, now, witnessing every moment of my evolution with thick lenses. Wow!

nania 17th August 2010 11:49 am

Thank you so much for your posts Lauren. I now understand why i have been practically comotose when it comes to doing anything lately. I have no energy even though I sleep at least 12 hours a night. And the boredom has been unbelievable. I have always been someone who could keep herself easily entertained but no more. The only thing that is finally getting me out of bed is that I have to go to work now and here I feel like someone visiting another planet. My dreams are more real than my waking life to the extent that I can't remember if something happened while I was dreaming or awake. Thanks for helping me understand that this is what it is supposed to be.

Much Love, Light and Peace,

k 17th August 2010 12:43 pm

Whan Pandora looked into the box after all the ills of the world had been released, hope was the only thing she found. I do not have hopes for the world I see around me, but I have to hold on to the hope that someday I will be released from this dimension, that I will be able to fit through that gap. All according to Divine timing and there is nothing I can do to bring this to me, I have to wait and learn patience. It is like being trapped in a deep pit, I can struggle to climb out, but I will not get out until Grace comes to help me. Mean while we just get through one day at a time.

doug 17th August 2010 6:43 pm

Through the Stargate
Thank you Loren for you and WOMANHOOD to take the lead in the necessary ascent of mankind. To use your spiritual intuition in setting an example of honestly striving for noble purity! This self realization of all that is good, is the admonition to keep the spirit active in its true sense.

Life on earth, with all its pleasures and joys, only gets its REAL MEANING when one has become familiar with the Etheral World and knows about the reciprocal actions connecting us with it. Then we no longer have the feeling of being at the mercy of chance.

Life on earth only gets REAL VALUE through striving upwards and that then a delightful, vital warmth also pulsates through all earthly joys and pleasures.

"The active death zone" you speak of is the Etheral World. Humans stand on earth as mighty rulers between the Etheral World and the Material World, equipped with the means to decide the nature of the weaving that proceeds from the loom of Creation...to set the mechanism in motion in a different direction, to direct our destiny to lead upwards to our origin, PARADISE.

Crystal38 17th August 2010 8:12 pm

Thank you, Lauren! you just described what I'm going through, I feel blessed!! :)

Aimee Marie 17th August 2010 10:08 pm

I love when I am not the only one feeling like the mustang finally broken. Completely depleted and void, basically numb; with an underlying certainty that everything is ok. I just want to feel fully, no matter how desperate or sad a moment (lately, some very long moments), exactly what seems to be at my feet. Somehow able to let go of things that I never could before. As you said, no choice. Great article, appreiciate the humor.

angelika 18th August 2010 9:34 am

Hi Lauren,

I can so relate to just being so bored with everything, even things I used to enjoy. Nothing much seems worth the effort, if I had my way I'd manage on sleep, more sleep and food - if only it were of the healthy variety!

Which also makes me wonder, am I getting this whole ascension bit right. I really don't want to be left behind!

Fingers crossed I'll see you all 'on the other side of the door'.

Love & Blessings, Angelika

Fiona 23rd August 2010 6:24 am

Thank you, that just helped so much you have no idea..well you would if i could express it .. that is a fantastic point about hope and i get wholly how it is still wanting.
subtilties of the mind...how we focus continually on lack.

janmarie 23rd August 2010 1:13 pm

6 days ago I knew that something huge was unfolding. I had been getting dissapointment, anger, rage for lost dreams - the postive The Creative Force that I AM... but knew at one level this was not so much mine as within the collective.

Then challenge after challenge 3 deaths in one week...and finally the realisation that my only child, my son was more interested in having fun than coming home to share my 65th birthday. I havent seen him for 8 mths. I woke this night with the feeling that my love for him/our relationship which is in tatters right now - was the only thing holding me anchored to this planet - a scary thing.

As always I ask for help and this article was here to read. Thank you. I still don't know how I can surrender to this level of surrender, the grief abounds (resistance) I can only do what I know which is to keep clearing that resistance till I can finally let go.

Without support at this level of understanding I could go off the rails. Thank you for writing this article for all to read in that deep dark night of the soul.

Jerusalem 25th August 2010 1:34 pm

thank you so much, dear Lauren. I find that in this process of loosing hope- what helps me is to know there are more like me, going through the same . it's difficult, but I'm not alone. thank you for the light you share and the reminding of the sence of humor.
see you all on the other side, soon, with love :angel:

bluerainbow 25th August 2010 2:41 pm

Dearest Lauren

Just when I thought I was completely losing it – stuck in this rut where nothing (good) seems to be happening, you came up with the perfect post to explain what we are all going through. I was coming to the realization that just letting go and accepting was the only way through this – but V E R Y S L O W L Y. Now, thanks to you, I know this is the only way to survive this process.