Alchemy of Awareness
As we continue our journey of evolution, it feels to me that we are in a tunnel of transition – we’ve been traveling through this tunnel since last spring. It is organic and alive – conscious. During August it felt like this tunnel became very narrow and was sloughing off those bits of our “story” that we were ready to release. It was painful and some of us may have felt deep discouragement or disconnection from who we’ve thought ourselves to be. This tunnel seems to be pulsating and moving us through terrain that helps us to see our deepest truth. But where does that take us? I have been contemplating this because I have been working with releasing a “discordant energy” that I have felt all my life. For so long it was a part of me and I believed it and so I barely saw it because I was so accustomed to this feeling of disempowerment. I won’t go into the details, but I feel we all have our own version of this energy that eats away at our self esteem and makes it very difficult to love ourselves.
This feeling is now something I recognize when it shows up. An old, familiar vibration that seems to surround me and flow within me. I’ve been given a vision of a golden harp with one string that is either disconnected and whipping around or loose and covered with dust and tarnish. It’s associated with memories of my life that, when I’m vibrating in this discordant energy, spin around and around in my head.
A deeper understanding came to me during the recent Monday evening Channeling/Meditation telecall that I facilitate. Since it was November 1, the Day of the Dead when the veils between the worlds are thin, we tuned into our ancestors on our Father’s side and then on our Mother’s side and opened up to receive messages from whoever wanted to come forth. It was very powerful and during the experience, I realized that this “discordant vibration” I’ve been looking at really comes from deep within my ancestral line. It rose up within my life experience because it’s an energy that has gathered in strength through my ancestral bloodline for thousands of years. It is not my Truth. It is an accumulation of energy of unworthiness that is the great lie that has been foisted upon humanity for centuries. I believe that we all have our own version of this within our energy and now is the time that “the buck stops here.” In our evolutionary journey, it is time to release the lie at the deepest level of our Soul.
I have been “working on myself” for years to clear what is not my truth and in this last year, this work has gotten deeper and deeper – as my guides have said, we are clearing the tincture of our personal experience with the untruth. Or, as my friend and colleague Kelly Beard calls it, “the sticky stuff on the bottom.” So I’ve been thinking and feeling about what we do with this stuff. Is it “healing” is it “clearing” is it “releasing?” Where does it go? I’ve come to realize that it’s more about acknowledging and integrating the energy. So as we witness the discordance it loses its magnetic attraction. As we acknowledge whatever it is within us that shows up and triggers our shadow, we can come to a feeling of detachment from it – because we are loving ourselves and not judging ourselves.
The Vastness of Being
The Perfect Storm
This is a time when all are being called to look deeply within… to pay attention to feelings that are brought up with your interactions with others. You will be pushing each other’s buttons, so to speak. Old issues are rising to the surface
At times the energy may feel like a wild ocean battering at you and you may feel as if everyone is going mad! Emotions are raw as you are being stripped of defenses so that you can look at your wounds and find healing. None are victims and as you have been working on yourselves you are able to see where divine experiences are being played out for your personal evolution. Allow yourselves to see every experience as a divine opportunity for the revelation of truth.
Relationships of all kinds are being examined or shaken up. Opportunities abound for healing and release of the old codependent behaviors that have prevailed among humanity, causing people to feel like victims and to blame others, abdicating personal power and freedom. Taking responsibility for your feelings and actions is the way to navigate the stormy seas. Each confrontation or conflict that arises is an opportunity for you to love yourselves into wholeness. You have been clearing that which is not your truth for many years. Now, as you deal with the reduction or tincture of your issues, you can heal through loving and supporting yourselves on every level.
As you journey into your wounding you will find yourself as a child. Listen to what this child has to tell you and give this child your love and support. You are calling the fragmented parts of yourself back home. We give you a visual: you are a small child, dependent on your parents or caregivers, and in an act of unconsciousness, a caregiver does something that causes a wound in you. You can picture it as the shattering of a mirror and as you go through the process of reclaiming yourself, you bring that mirror back into wholeness. As you integrate the bits of yourself that were shattered, causing disassociation and fragmentation, the glue which heals is love. And to take it a little further, that parent was coming from their own shattered mirror which was never healed, which came from their parents, and on and on through the ancestral lineage. The wounding of humanity is the shattered mirror, or hologram. And this wounding is also reflected in the earth herself. You are not separate from each other or from the earth.
So you can look at every challenge that is brought forth from your interactions with one another as an opportunity to love yourselves. In doing so, you will be able to see your “adversary” as the one who is offering you an opportunity to grow and as you face your truth and communicate your truth from your heart, integrating your authenticity back into the core of your being, you are offering them a gift to heal their own fragmentation, as well. And so it is that you are all bouncing off one another as you travel through a narrow conduit in the tunnel of transformation. We have spoken of this before – all are being condensed… compressed, flowing through a narrow channel that will eventually take you out into a vaster ocean of beingness.
The Alchemy of Transformation
That is how the energy looks to us. It can also be described as an activation of molecules just as the microwave rays cause friction so that molecules rub up against one another, creating heat. You can see this happening among yourselves. Heat – fire – is a transformative element. So another metaphor is that you are all “cooking” and it is an alchemical process.
There is no room for blame and victimhood in this transformation. Each must look into their own hearts to see their participation in the co-creation of whatever the drama is that you are experiencing. Compassion is like a lubricant that can help you move through challenging situations.
The wounding of humanity is deep – each person is affected in some way, hurt in some way. Acknowledging this wounding will open up compassion for one another as you interact and communicate from the truth of your being. For, to be sure, you will be drawing circumstances to you that will show you where your wounds are. We speak of it as magnetic energy. You have a resonance and it will draw to it similar resonances and in this way you are mirrors for one another.
It is not easy to face yourselves. It can be painful and uncomfortable, but you will see that as you come from your inner truth and your intention to love yourself into healing, each time you honestly deal with a challenge, it will be like passing through a tunnel where unexpected experiences reach out to you to assist you in seeing yourselves. As you pass through the experience you will cross a threshold that opens into light. You will have a moment to bask in the experience before going into another tunnel. It is like a leach field as you continue the cleansing and purification process.
The Game of Life
We suggest you view your experience as a “fun house” at a fair ground. You never know what might pop out at you – and you best believe you will always be challenged with your deepest issue when you least expect it. That is when your defenses are down and you are most open to the experience, so you will have the most authentic response. It can ease your journey a bit if you view your lifewalk as a game. Not a school, but a game. For this “clearing” process is what you came here to experience. And most of you came here to turn the tide and assist with the rising of humanity into the Truth of your being – that you are all the “Godhead.” You are all bringing forth your Higher Selves, your Soul into your awareness, allowing your authenticity to be revealed so you can live within the truth of your being. We speak of this often. And this is how you clear the discordance of the lie that humanity has received and amplified for thousands of years. Good game you’re playing, no?
This is where intuition comes into play. Use your intuition to guide you. This is a gift you have, from moment to moment, your intuition – your inner feeling – prompts you, inspires you to do certain things, go certain places, call certain people. This is the fun part of the game, for as you allow your intuition and your heart to guide you, you will experience moments of synchronicity with yourself and with other people, which will bring you a feeling of great joy and wonder. You will also come to see more and more how you are all co-creating your experiences. No one is an island, all are connected through beams of light that create a web of human thoughts, emotions, and experiences. You can tune into this beam and find strength – remember there is strength in numbers and you are not alone.
You have chosen this journey and as you pass through your wounding with the intention to find wholeness, you will enter into joy more and more. As you let go of the wounds, and of the emotions and thought patterns that keep you trapped and circling around and around in your story, you will become more buoyant which will enable you to journey on top of the energies of change. Your love and authenticity will be like a boat that will carry you along. There will be some rapids to go through and some waterfalls to free-fall down and some churning waters of chaos, but the more you are free of the heaviness that weighs you down, the more lightly you will be able to navigate the unknown.
It is a blessing to be on Earth at this time and as you face and heal your wounds, you are providing healing for your ancestors out through time, you are providing healing for your so-called “past” lives. The healing through love, radiates outward through time and space. This will actually create what is being called the New Earth – so as the wounds are healed through all the different timelines, the stories that are called history will change or be forgotten… as you become more and more focused in the moment of now.
This is the healing process that humanity is going through and there is so much support that you have for one another and that you receive from the non physical guides, teachers and Angels that watch over each and every one of you.
Blessings and love,
The Vastness of Being
Copyright © 2021 by Nancy Wallace Ward (aka Leilah). All rights reserved for my original images and written material. Permission is granted to freely redistribute this article as long as it is kept intact and the author’s name and website www.integralsoul.love are included.